Moving Forward in Faith with Camilla

How can we better have a faith-centered and hope-filled vision of our future? Even more challenging, how do we move forward when all we have is our faith and hope in God to guide us? I'm excited to bring you my heartfelt conversation with Camilla, a devoted mother of four, whose testimony of Jesus Christ has been the guiding force in her life. From childhood tales of a lost then found CTR ring to important formative experiences throughout college and motherhood, Camilla shares how her faith has not only been strengthened but shaped her biggest life decisions.

"Remember Lot's Wife: Faith is for the Future" - Jeffery R. Holland, BYU Devotional, January 13, 2009 

Link: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-holland/remember-lots-wife/

Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

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Transcript

Lily: 0:06

Hello everyone and welcome to. More Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your Story as the author and finisher of our faith, our Savior writes personal experiences into each of our lives which can later strengthen, empower and bring us peace upon reflection. This podcast is dedicated to sharing these anchoring memories from everyone's unique stories in order to collectively remember and testify of the reality of Jesus Christ and His presence in our lives. I'm your host, lily, and I'm very excited to share these experiences together. So tonight we have Camilla. Thank you for coming to the podcast and being willing to do this with me. Well, I'm so happy you asked me. Camilla, will you just introduce yourself a?

Camilla: 0:50

little bit. Yes, my name is Camilla and I grew up in Palatine, illinois, which is the suburb of Chicago, and I am married to Mark and we have four kids Beck, who's nine, kate, who's six, and Covey, who's three, and then Bryce, who's 18 months. So they keep me very busy.

Camilla: 1:13

I was going to say you're very busy, Very busy, but I love them. Yeah, but yeah, I loved growing up in Chicago. It was so fun to grow up there. So I love the beach, I love the mountains. So actually my favorite place well, I don't know. One of my favorite places is Hawaii.

Camilla: 1:30

And I would live there because it has the beach and it has mountains and it's magical. The weather is amazing, yes, so, anyways, but yeah, then I came to BYU and I studied exercise science and got my undergrad and my master's in that and I love anything related to exercise and healthy living and all that, so I love it. It's fun to like study it, and not that I don't have as much time to study as I would like.

Lily: 1:56

Right.

Camilla: 1:57

I love anything related to that and I try to live it.

Lily: 2:00

That's awesome. Well, I've seen you do a great job at it. I will say you do a great job.

Camilla: 2:04

Thanks.

Lily: 2:06

Well, it makes me happy. So, Camilla, what experiences have you had in your life that prick your heart and remembrance of our savior Jesus Christ?

Camilla: 2:18

Well, I'll start when my teen years, I guess well, and even childhood like I grew up in the church, like my parents were members, and I really felt like I always had this desire to do what was right and like I never wanted to disappoint anybody, including myself, but also like my parents, and I knew that the Lord loved me and was aware of me and I never wanted to. I always wanted to do what was right and make good choices. And actually this is reminding me of a story when I was a kid, I had a CTR ring you know, like the old school.

Lily: 3:02

The old school was there with the green shield.

Camilla: 3:04

And well, actually I had, I had that one, but my parents were nice and bought me like a nicer ring, really nice one, yeah, like sterling silver.

Camilla: 3:11

Remember, like the ones that we used to have. Yeah, anyways, I think it was navy blue on the back or whatever on the back behind the CTR. But I loved this ring and I was in gymnastics when I was a kid and I would go over to my friend's house and we would jump on the tramp all the time and it was so fun. It was in the ground and it was amazing because it was like the trampolines are awesome when you get in the ground trampoline.

Lily: 3:34

Yeah.

Camilla: 3:34

Anyways. So we would jump all the time and she was in gymnastics with me, so we do like all of our flip stuff. Yeah, and as I was over there, we were jumping and I like did a flip and my ring like flew off and I was like, and this is in the fall when- all the leaves are on the ground.

Lily: 3:50

Yeah, there's no way you're finding that thing.

Camilla: 3:52

And we looked for hours for this ring and I could not find it and I was so sad yeah, I think I was probably like eight or nine or you know, like that age. Yeah, anyways, I prayed and prayed often for this ring, like I want to find this ring and I, we never did. And then winter came and there was snow, and you know. So I just kind of like forgot about it. Well, I didn't forget. But I like realized okay, we're probably not going to find it, we're going to find it.

Camilla: 4:21

Spring comes and my friend's mom was out raking the leaves, like when the you know when the snow melts and there's like leftover in the icky leaves.

Lily: 4:32

Yeah, yeah.

Camilla: 4:34

And she was raking and she heard a little ding, she found the ring and she found my ring. I just remember at that age that was my first real like. Well, that I remember my first real answer to prayer like wow, and my father like really knew that I loved this ring and like that I wanted it.

Lily: 4:53

And they found it Isn't that cool, that's really cool.

Camilla: 4:57

I always remembered that story because it like was really. It like really touched my heart, like as a little girl, like he's aware of me and this is amazing, you know, one of those core memories from what's that show the?

Lily: 5:09

I guess oh, inside out, inside out.

Camilla: 5:13

Yeah, yes, so core memory for sure. I like always remembered that and I still have that ring.

Lily: 5:20

Do you really, do you keep it hidden away from? Oh yes, because I feel like, if my daughter knew that existed, she'd be like I want that it's in a safe place.

Camilla: 5:29

And well, and also to go along with this ring story, so that was amazing that it was in her yard all winter, right, and then she found it in the spring, and then I remember one time I also left it at gymnastics, like you know, by the bars or something, and I like left gymnastics, went home and it wasn't there at home and I was like, oh no, and so we went back to the gym and it was there, which was a blessing, and so then it was after that that I was like I don't think I'm gonna wear it.

Camilla: 5:59

So, which is kind of sad, but I am like I don't want to lose it again. So I kind of like I just kept it safe, yeah, so anyways, that's really cool that you've still held on to it.

Lily: 6:09

Yeah, it's your special ring.

Camilla: 6:11

No, it just like has so much meaning to me, like the Lord cares about everything. And he's a child and he's aware of everything. Right, you know, and the fact that they've I don't know it just like, blows my mind. So, yeah, Anyways so there's a. There's a story from when I was a kid. I love it, but I can keep talking if you want.

Lily: 6:30

Yes, please. What else you?

Camilla: 6:32

got. I have more questions.

Lily: 6:34

No, you're great. No, keep going Okay.

Camilla: 6:37

So then in my teen years I we had youth conferences and we didn't. I didn't ever attend a trek. Yeah, my state trek Well well, yes, but like they stopped it by the time I got to age 14. I think you had to be, I think so, and so I. Instead, they wanted to do something different, which I'm like. I understand, you know, as leaders, they probably just wanted to switch it up, so they did wilderness youth conferences.

Camilla: 7:07

So we would like go camping and have to do all these different like things like kind of like girls camp. Was it like but they? But it was like we had to do these like kind of team building activities and like that kind of thing, and like you know they would, and it was kind of hard stuff like that we had to do.

Camilla: 7:26

Anyways, this one's fun, but one of the things that we did was a solo experience, and that's where we like would go into the woods for a while and like be by ourselves and have time to read the scriptures and ponder and pray and think and have quiet to ourselves. And I remember I was 14. This is my first youth conference and it was this wilderness one. And I went into the woods and I remember I kneeled down and I really was like I mean, I already knew that, I already felt like I knew the church was true, but I was like okay let's do this, let's try it, you know, and I knelt and prayed and asked like okay, is this the church?

Camilla: 8:09

And I had this overwhelming feeling of comfort and love and like I was in a warm hug and everything. I remember it was so cool because it was kind of like the bugs and like you know, it was just kind of like.

Lily: 8:26

It was like nature noise.

Camilla: 8:28

And it like everything stopped. It was amazing. It was just was like this super quiet, peaceful, calm moment and it was kind of long and I just like remember feeling, yeah, this is true, and I just like Again the confirmation of God loves you. Yeah, yeah, and he's aware of me. But then he also answered my prayer Like, yeah, this is the right church and this is true, and I love you and that's two times he's answered prayers.

Camilla: 9:01

Yes, yeah, but it was just cool like that and I remember because you know, when you're 14, you're going to high school and it's like high school can be a little intimidating and you know, but I really feel like that experience, like-.

Lily: 9:16

Kind of ground you.

Camilla: 9:17

Yeah, and like I was able to like decide okay, yeah, this is who I want to be. I want to be someone that follows my savior and be who he wants me to be and try to just like you know, live his gospel. And it was really awesome because I feel like it really helped me through my high school years to be what he wanted and that's so cool. Anyways, I just felt like it really helped shape me and as I went through high school and then went on to college and everything.

Lily: 9:54

So anyways, have you been able to share it with your kids. That's a good question.

Camilla: 10:01

I think so, but I don't know I should.

Lily: 10:06

I know I shared it with friends before but, I yeah, Especially now that they're older. I was going to say your kids are old enough that I feel like they would understand that yeah. And that they might be like. I want to pray too, and have a cool experience.

Camilla: 10:19

Yeah, no, I'm glad you reminded me of that, lily, cause that I think would be good for them to just know, like that, I had that and that they can have those experiences to experiences where they feel the Lord's love and I feel like it's, I think there.

Lily: 10:36

There were at least two conference talks this pastoral conference, where they specifically taught about teaching our children.

Camilla: 10:43

Right.

Lily: 10:43

And sharing experiences with them and really rooting them in the gospel. And I feel like when people who children love and trust, share these experiences with them, then it's even more powerful and it, I think, solidifies it at least a little bit more. At least I've seen that with my kids. Yeah, oh totally yes.

Camilla: 11:00

No, I think that's so true. I'm going to share it with them. I and I. It's cool, actually, like when you were talking about kids just now it made me think of. I feel like my kids have had many experiences with fair, where prayer was answered and they've recognized it. And I think that's powerful for them, like as children, that they can cause and affect.

Lily: 11:21

Yeah, and getting it?

Camilla: 11:23

Yeah, no, it's actually really cool, like I'm grateful that the Lord answers this first, quickly, quickly sometimes because kids need that. Yes.

Lily: 11:31

You know kids need that, like the reassurance you know, like immediate, like they see immediate response or whatever. So, anyways, he just leaves us high and dry sometimes, or like I understand that. I'm older now, but why? I know, just tell me now. Right, I know we do.

Camilla: 11:50

But okay, well, let me kind of keep going in my life. So I, so I came to Utah to go to BYU.

Lily: 11:57

And I, like, always wanted to go to BYU.

Camilla: 11:59

Yeah, I never really had anywhere else. I wanted to go. It was funny actually, when I was applying, like my senior year of high school, and I was applying to colleges, my dad was like you should like apply to some other colleges too, cause I'd only put in for BYU. Byu and nothing else, and I was like no, dad, like I want to go to BYU, I want to go to BYU I'm not going anywhere else.

Lily: 12:22

And it was funny.

Camilla: 12:23

But then, like when he said that, I was like, okay, I guess. So then I think I put in like an application, I think, to BYU Idaho Anyway. So I was really glad that I got in and I loved, I loved coming. It was amazing. I did miss home more than I thought I would, but I would go home like in the summers, you know, to work and stuff. But I, I loved BYU and I felt like it was just amazing to be surrounded by people that had my same standards and, you know, just to be in such a beautiful place.

Camilla: 12:55

But then I had started my junior year and I was like I'm kind of sick of this winter stuff, so, speaking of being cold, and so I was like I want to go to BYU Hawaii for a semester. But they had, like they were still doing their like spring summer terms. But I was like I don't want to just go for six weeks, like I want to go during the winter. To do that I had to like apply to BYU Hawaii, like to transfer, to actually go during the winter term. But I went January and then I stayed. I wanna say when did I come back? I think it was July or August cause I. So I was planning to just go for the semester, like January through April, but I fell in love and so I was like I'm gonna send you my internship. So I stayed and did my internship in the summer and figured all of that out, but it was such a fun adventure.

Lily: 13:56

I was gonna say that it was amazing.

Camilla: 13:57

Like I didn't know anybody really, and even like my housing, like I didn't know any of my roommates and I didn't even see my house until I got there, Like where I was living. But it just felt like something I wanted to do and you went for it and I went for it and it was amazing Cause I feel like the Lord really made it happen. You know, and I like met people and had experiences there that it was just a blast and like so cool and it was so fun, Like just such a fun part of my life. It was just so cool, Like I loved the experience there and I actually I really liked boys growing up.

Lily: 14:41

And in college.

Camilla: 14:43

I dated a lot of boys.

Lily: 14:46

And in.

Camilla: 14:46

Hawaii. I dated a lot of boys. And I met this boy, his name was Yo, he was amazing, Like and then, but I and I, out of all the boys I had dated, I like really liked him and I was like, wow, he's really great and I like really liked him enough that I even thought of staying and finishing my degree there. But I only had one more year in Provo and I looked into finishing at Mioi, hawaii, and it would have been longer.

Lily: 15:15

Oh, just because of the credits, just the way everything happened.

Camilla: 15:17

Yes, and so I and I, like, prayed about it and I just felt like I need to go back to Provo. So my plan was to go back to Provo, finish my year, move back to Hawaii, probably still date him and get a job and just live there and live there forever no, forever.

Lily: 15:36

That was like my plan. That was my plan, Lily. So when you said in the beginning that you loved Hawaii, you really love Hawaii. No, I really love Hawaii.

Camilla: 15:45

I have a very special place in my heart. It's beautiful and so anyways. But so I came back to Provo for my last year of school and I, Yo and I, would still like talk to each other and, like you know, communicate, but we had decided we're gonna date other people just because we're not living in the same state.

Lily: 16:08

So we're like let's just date other people.

Camilla: 16:10

And so I just decided like, okay, well, both of us decided, okay, let's just date other people and we'll just kind of be in touch and go from there. And so I so this is my senior year at BYU Provo and I, like I had a lot of fun, was dating a lot of guys.

Lily: 16:28

You know, just like you know just having fun, yeah, having fun.

Camilla: 16:32

Enjoying college and you know, finishing up all my stuff to graduate. And I remember January yeah, in January 2009, elder Holland came and gave a devotional and I this was. I was kind of struggling a little bit in the fact that I just didn't know what to do. I kind of felt unsure about like okay, should.

Lily: 17:03

I go After graduation what to do?

Camilla: 17:05

Yeah, should I go back to Hawaii? Should I keep dating you? Or you know and I was like missing Hawaii, like being there. You know that whole experience and it was really amazing. His talk was remember Lot's wife. I was sitting in the Marriott Center listening to him and it was like everything I needed to hear.

Lily: 17:24

It was amazing.

Camilla: 17:26

Cause it's just all about like move forward with faith. Like don't look back longingly on your past, like wanting that, because you need like life is just gonna keep happening and you just need to like move forward with faith, correct. So it was interesting because Yo and I we're still talking and stuff, but I was also dating and I just, I don't know, I just was like kind of lost and I remember that talk hit me in the fact that I was like okay, I just need to step forward with faith, take a step in the dark. And so yo and I did, in the fact that we bought tickets for him to come to Provo, to Provo for my graduation and to like meet my family, and we bought tickets for me to fly to California and like meet his family and stuff. Yeah, because we I just was like so not sure what to do.

Lily: 18:19

Right, well, that's the next logical step, though yes.

Camilla: 18:23

And so. But it was like I was nervous to take that step. But after hearing Elder Holland's talk I was like okay.

Lily: 18:28

We gotta do it, we just need to do something, yeah, and so we took that step.

Camilla: 18:33

And you know what's crazy, lily, what I met Mark in February. No, you didn't. Yes, what I, I met him. I feel like God has such a sense of humor sometimes, oh my gosh. No, I know, I okay. So, mark, and it was funny because I didn't know he existed, but his roommate was put as the FHG coordinator and he put our apartments together on purpose because Mark had said he was like interested, and so his roommate like put our, our apartments together, just so we could like have more interaction.

Camilla: 19:14

You know I remember it was funny the first time I went that I remember seeing Mark. It was at his apartment and he walks in the door like during he kind of comes late and I remember looking over and I was like oh, he's really cute, like that was. I just like saw him and that was my first thought that was it. And I I was like, oh, I wonder who his friend he is? Like because I didn't think he was in our ward, because I'd like never never seen him before.

Camilla: 19:46

Yeah, and anyways, we start talking that night and come to find out he's in the ward and I'm like oh, okay, this just got interesting and so yeah.

Camilla: 19:57

And so then he that night it was like hey, we should go out. And I was like, yeah, let's do it. And so, um, he calls me later and I he likes to tease me about this. But I was, I was the release society president and I was a good student, and so I um had to book him out like two weeks because I just had stuff going on. But he thought that I like wasn't interested and I was like no, like, no, like, like, like, like, like.

Camilla: 20:29

plant something, though, yeah two weeks from now, and he thought I was like joking joking.

Camilla: 20:35

Like no, like I really want to play on something, so I booked him out a couple weeks and we went on our first date and it was amazing, like I, yes, and we I he took me out for pizza and we like talked for hours, like and it was so easy to talk to him Right, and it just was like awesome, the best, yeah, and anyways it was. It was just interesting that all of that happened like right after, like soon after I had taken that stuff of faith with yo, you know, like in the dark. Okay, I have to make some sort of decision here, because I just kind of felt like I wasn't receiving any answers. Yeah, but it was once I took that stuff of faith that everything we bought this plane tickets and stuff that, no, isn't that crazy.

Camilla: 21:27

Yeah, and Lord, that actually taught me a lot in my life in the fact that sometimes the Lord requires us to take step the faith in the dark Right Without like, and then he'll tell us Right, or even like you make your plan and invest into this plan, yeah, and then you get to change your plan. Yes, yes, no, and, and, and that he, I think the Lord, wants us to make those hard decisions, sometimes without knowing what really is going to happen or what it is.

Camilla: 21:59

Like he wants us to take that step of faith in the dark and I that really taught me a lot Like just because I kept being like well, just tell me like you know, before, yeah, and but he really does require that of us, I think sometimes like he wants us to make a choice, sometimes the Lord will not answer me and I have to just make a decision on my own and then, once I do, he'll answer. So, anyways, that has been something that's cool I really liked it on a lot.

Camilla: 22:27

So it was crazy, though, because Mark and I so we went on that first date and we we then went on a second date, I think it was soon, soon after, but then, after that second date, we saw each other every day and we got engaged. So that was the end of February.

Lily: 22:50

Was it a whole BYU engagement?

Camilla: 22:51

No, I know which is funny because it totally made me eat my words, and Mark too, because he always thought he would date someone for a long time too. Yeah, before he got married and so, yeah, we went on our first date end of February and then we were engaged May, like beginning of May, mid-may maybe, and then we were married in August.

Lily: 23:16

In August and so it was like.

Camilla: 23:17

It just was crazy, though, lily, because I really it was like one of those experiences like meeting him. I just knew he was the one and it was like totally going back to like in my young women years when people would be like you just know, and I'd be like whatever you know, and I would get so bugged when people say that. And then it happened to me.

Camilla: 23:38

And I'm like I could feel it Like and I even like I mean, obviously I prayed about him, but I even like with my prayers, like I already knew he was the one, like I knew he was the person I was supposed to marry, and it ended up. I have to tell you about you. He's awesome, yeah, by the way. Okay, so he still had his ticket to come out and he still came because he has like friends here in Provo and stuff, but it was good because he and I actually went on a hike and it was cool because I still like really admired him and like loved him in the fact that he's just an awesome person. But, like I knew he wasn't the right one, you know, and so it was just like really cool, yeah, in the fact that, and he was cool about it too, like he was so like understanding and, yeah, you know, just really kind about it All.

Camilla: 24:35

Um so that helped too. But yeah, so then Mark and I got married. This next year will be 15 years, next summer, um, which is crazy to think about. So I just feel like time it goes by so fast, so fast. So I just I do feel like it's weird to think that we've been married for almost 15 years and we've moved a lot in those years, except these last. We've been here in this area for eight years, eight years, uh, but before that we moved a ton, and I do feel like this is what I'm going to say with moving the Lord. It's been really cool. I feel like the Lord has helped us to know where to go and when. Every time. It's been really cool.

Camilla: 25:20

Like and we've like moved to places and met people and had experiences.

Lily: 25:25

Right.

Camilla: 25:25

We needed, yeah, and and I do have times now where I feel like, oh cause we, you know, we want to have a house with like a yard and more bedrooms, and you know all that and it's been like the last couple of years actually, we've been like praying about it, fasting about it, and we're just not getting an answer. Yeah, so we don't know when or where, but I do fall back on remembering like he's always led us Correct, and so I just need to need a wait, just need to wait and have faith, and so it's been a couple of years coming, but I do I'm like okay.

Camilla: 26:04

So I do have times where I get a little impatient, like just tell me like when and where, and you know I want to go. I want to go where you want me to go, so just tell me. But I also wanted to share. Mark and I we waited five years for our kids, and which was great, but I also was I wouldn't say nervous, but you know how people they say like they're baby hungry or I never had that, so I don't know.

Lily: 26:34

No, I never had it either.

Camilla: 26:36

I was never baby hungry.

Lily: 26:37

Yeah.

Camilla: 26:38

I never, I don't know. Like, when I was growing up I liked kids but I wasn't like super into kids, Correct? You know, I didn't babysit a lot, I didn't.

Lily: 26:46

I don't know.

Camilla: 26:47

I just wasn't into kids, yeah.

Camilla: 26:49

And so that was kind of an interesting decision, like, okay, I guess we should do this. You know, that was kind of a step of faith for me in the fact that, like, I just knew that the Lord in his gospel teaches families, you know, that's what brings joy and eternal happiness, and you know, and so, um, we went ahead and started trying for a baby and I became a mom and I will say that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. And I had postpartum and I did not realize it because I felt like no one told me really anything about having babies, like no really, I felt like everyone just made it seem like it was like you know, butterflies and rainbows, and it was amazing.

Lily: 27:41

Right, and while we're all crying in our home, sad and depressed.

Camilla: 27:44

No, really like no one told me anything.

Lily: 27:46

I feel like there wasn't Instagram, there wasn't TikTok, there wasn't like these communities that you could find, right yeah.

Camilla: 27:52

Well, and I think too, like, like, I didn't know, like what was going on because I just was sad all the time. I would just cry a lot. I was just I remember taking beg, poor beg. I love my beg, but I would take him on walks and I would just cry for like hours and it was like what's wrong with me?

Lily: 28:13

Like I, like this. This doesn't feel normal, but like this, normal right, yeah, yeah.

Camilla: 28:17

No, that's what it was, because I had never had a baby, right? So I was like, is this what having a baby is like?

Lily: 28:21

He's like is this motherhood?

Camilla: 28:23

I don't want this no for real Like because I feel like no one had really told me. Right and I was just like whoa. This is not fun.

Lily: 28:31

What I signed up for, Like this is really not fun Like.

Camilla: 28:34

I don't want to do this.

Lily: 28:36

I want to be done.

Camilla: 28:37

I don't know. I just it was crazy because I like went through that first year like, and it was not. It was not good, Like just not a good time of my life, and it was just hard because I am, like, a happy person.

Lily: 28:50

Yes, just naturally, I agree.

Camilla: 28:51

I'm very happy. Yes, upbeat and positive, and like that's just my personality.

Lily: 28:56

And so it was hard being like that, being like that.

Camilla: 28:58

Correct, I'm just like. This is not who.

Lily: 29:00

I am.

Camilla: 29:00

Right or who I want to be Right. And it was crazy because after that first year I like finally realized like I think that was postpartum, Like what you know, like yeah, like once I, because I kind of like started coming out of it after a year, Right, Ish, so I was really nervous to have another baby. I really like I was Like I don't want to do that again. Fast forward Beck was turning two. This is actually a cool story. Okay, he was turning two and I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. Oh, and he said he wanted a baby sister. No way. When he was turning two, Lily, I was like what, what? And it was like I like literally was not on my radar. Yeah, Like not. Yeah, Like I was not.

Lily: 29:54

Nothing.

Camilla: 29:55

I was not thinking of that at all, like about having another baby, uh huh. And he said that and like seriously, it hit Mark and I like wow, kind of hard. We're like whoa, should we like have another baby? And it was like really cool because he so we like we're like okay, maybe we should like, and so that was another like step of faith, like okay, let's do this, let's, let's maybe kind of go down this path, you know, of having a baby. I got pregnant, lily With Kate, yeah, and her due date was three days before his birthday.

Lily: 30:36

No way His third birthday. Three days.

Camilla: 30:38

No way, and that was the first birthday. Yeah, and that's what he had asked for his second birthday. I'm like getting good stuff. To tell you the story. It was like so amazing, like I had I touched my heart so much, like this is what needs to be, you know and it was it was amazing when Kate came, because it was a completely different experience.

Camilla: 31:03

Like I didn't have postpartum. I was like whoa, this is what having babies is like, like really most of the time, you know, and I was just like holy cow, this is amazing, like, yeah, I was so happy and like I had so much love and not that I didn't love Beck, but you know what I mean. It just was a totally different experience from having postpartum to not, and it like gave me so much perspective and like I felt so much for people that deal with depression, you know, on a regular basis or postpartum, like I I feel for them. I have never, I had never experienced anything like that until I had, and I'm like, wow, that is hard, it's so hard, and so I was so grateful to the Lord for giving me that experience with Kate that I could not like that I could have a positive, like more happy experience with her, you know, and it was just amazing to me that Beck had asked for her and he got her kids have this special connection with Heavenly Father and the Lord and like they really do the veil.

Camilla: 32:20

I think it's thin for them. I agree, sometimes like it's pretty cool when Kate came, like she needed to come, like and it's been so cool Like I really feel like Heavenly Father and our my savior just sent her to our family and to me for a reason you know and and it's been cool Like I've been able to see that reason you know right, as we've had her these six years. So far.

Camilla: 32:49

And anyways. So that's been really a really special experience was that we were able to see. That was that with Beck and Kate. So, and I and then I feel like with Covey too, like I I knew he needed to come to and you know, like after I had Kate well, after I had Kate, I was like, wow, this is amazing, let's have another baby. And he came and it was amazing and it was great, like he was such a good baby and like I didn't have postpartum again, which I was like because I was a little nervous again.

Lily: 33:24

Like am I going?

Camilla: 33:24

to have postpartum and so that was really awesome. And then it was, I was in the hospital with Covey, like after I had him, which usually when you're in the hospital it's not like you're like I want another one and a lot of pain, you know, but I remember in the hospital with him. I like knew I needed to have another one and I like knew the timing. It was weird, weird Like.

Lily: 33:49

I like knew.

Camilla: 33:50

I was like okay, I need to start getting pregnant this time. I actually was like hoping for another girl, because my experience with Kate was so amazing. Yeah, and when I found out Bryce was a boy, that actually was really hard for me. Yeah, like really hard. I was like wait, I just wanted one more girl Like why, yeah, why Heavenly. Father, like there were some prayers there where. I was like are you sure? Yeah, but you know what, though? Since he's come, he's been amazing, he's awesome.

Camilla: 34:25

And just like what we needed, and it's actually been cute Like his demeanor is very similar to Kate.

Lily: 34:32

Oh.

Camilla: 34:33

And so it's cute. Like we say, he's like the boy version of Kate, and so it's just really sweet Like I, and I can't imagine not having him.

Lily: 34:44

Yeah, you know, that's really neat seeing just how the Lord is in literally every part of your life. Oh, thanks Well.

Camilla: 34:50

I really do feel like he, he just he loves me, and I feel it every day Like I mean, that's kind of a big story, but I feel like there's so many little moments in my life, like every, every day there's at least one moment where I feel like the Lord is aware, in like a small way, you know, and I'm so grateful for that because it like really does help me to keep going, you know when it's hard. Yeah, it's like, okay, I can try again. I can do this.

Lily: 35:28

I can keep going, you know.

Camilla: 35:30

Because sometimes you do want to give up, Like I. Have days where I'm like I just want to be done. I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, you know, but it is those reminders that the Lord loves me and it's aware of me and right and cares and wants me to keep going, and so I do because, like I don't know what I would do without that knowledge, Life would be super hard. It already is hard yeah, and I just I feel like it would be, it would feel almost impossible without that.

Lily: 36:03

I think about that often. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the gospel, if I didn't have Jesus Christ in my life. So would you mind just bearing a quick testimony?

Camilla: 36:16

Yeah, so let me bear my testimony.

Camilla: 36:18

I just, I know I especially like it's been really cool tonight, lily, talking about this because, like you said at the beginning of the podcast, like reflecting and like talking about these experiences and like thinking about it, like it's so powerful to remind you like, yeah, the Lord loves me and he's real and my Heavenly Father is real and I know that like in my core and there's like no way that I will ever forget it and I just I'm so grateful for him and his patience with me and his atonement and the fact that I can repent every day and become who he wants me to become, slowly but surely, baby steps, but that's the whole point of this life and I'm grateful for that. I just feel like I don't know what I would do without him. I know we already talked about that, but, yeah, I just know he's real and I know his gospel is real and that it really does bring joy and happiness, like the lasting, true joy and happiness. So, and I say that in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Lily: 37:31

Well, thank you, camilla, for being with us and sharing your stories and, yeah, I hope you have a good evening. Thank you, thanks again for tuning into More Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your story. Please follow us on social media or share us with a friend. If you have an experience you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhim at gmailcom. I can't wait to hear all of the amazing memories you all have of our Savior. See you next time.