Faith Dropped with Meredith

Ever felt like God drops you into deep water and asks you to swim? In our latest episode Meredith shares her own personal “faith drops”, as she narrates the resilience and hope she found in Christ through the unexpected loss of a job, becoming a mother, and unexpected challenges of her sweet boy Nolan.

Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

Follow us on Social Media:

Facebook: More than Coincidence: Remembering Jesus Christ in Your Story
Instagram: mtc.rememberingjesuschrist

Website: https://morethancoincidencerememberingjesuschristinyourstory.buzzsprout.com

Email: morethancoincidence.rememberhim@gmail.com

**Transcripts available on website!

Transcript

Lily: 0:06

Hello everyone and welcome to. More Than Coincidence Remembering Jesus Christ in your Story as the author and finisher of our faith, our Savior writes personal experiences into each of our lives which can later strengthen, empower and bring us peace upon reflection. This podcast is dedicated to sharing these anchoring memories from everyone's unique stories in order to collectively remember and testify of the reality of Jesus Christ and His presence in our lives. I'm your host, lily, and I'm very excited to share these experiences together. Okay, everyone, welcome tonight to the podcast. Today we have, meredith, how you doing? Doing great. How are you, lily, fantastic. Would you mind introducing yourself a little bit?

Meredith: 0:56

Sure, my name is Meredith, I study theater education and I have three kids. Now I'm married.

Lily: 1:09

You are really cool. So, meredith, what memories do you have that you reflect on, that prick your heart and remembrance of our Savior Jesus Christ?

Meredith: 1:21

So when I first heard your podcast and I started thinking, hmm, what would I remember, what would I feel inclined to share? Because, honestly, if I were to really think about it, there would be little sprinklings all through my life of all the not coincidences, but those circumstances where that is true, like where my heart is breaking and my remembrance of my Savior. But for the purposes of this podcast, this interview, I've kind of guided my answer on how teaching has prepared me for motherhood, because when I was a child, I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, because I was blessed with having such great teachers and all through elementary school and I was like you know, this is what I want to do, this is what I would love to grow to be is a teacher. And sure enough, I went through high school with that same idea and then I applied for BYU, got into BYU thinking I was going to do elementary education, but also kind of changed practice a little bit because I had a passion for theater as well. I've always loved theater, musicals, plays, being and watching. Any part of it I've always loved. So I mined those into that profession and then I graduated in 2018 and I lined up a job to teach, and I was like, oh my gosh, like I'm doing the thing I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember. That is a little bit different. I have arrived. I suppose I should come through here. I was also. I think it was a little bit different because I was earning what's called a Montessori certification, which is a kind of teaching pedagogy. That's a little bit different from traditional classrooms. So I was doing that certification on top of this new job.

Meredith: 3:41

I was teaching in a general classroom at Montessori Carter School and it was going. It was going the first, where it was just you know, first year teaching and starting out like getting my feet under me. But then I got fired, turned out from a situation. I've later talked to more experienced teachers about this, about what happened, and they said you know, mary, you were the scapegoat in that situation, because what happened to you has happened to me many times. Oh no, it was just one of those where the charter school was just starting out and that is what they decided to do and I was just mortified. I remember them telling me they said very nicely, they were like, well, I guess not nice, but very gently, I guess they're saying, like you need to find other employment.

Meredith: 4:45

I remember just going to the bathroom after that and just looking in the mirror and my face was red. Like you know, you read in a book of like red as a tomato. I was literally as red as a tomato. I'm just like, oh my gosh. I am so embarrassed, ashamed of like how did this happen? No, yeah, but there's just that shock of like, oh my gosh, this, this is reality now.

Meredith: 5:15

And I had parked at my classroom it was the last day before fall break, so like we have fall break to kind of figure something else out. Because, yeah, yeah, I was worried. You know, I'm still doing the certification. I have to work to earn the certification. I'm putting hours in, I'm, you know, so Right, I was able to line up something else and but I remember, because I had a couple weeks to where I had a fall break and then I was able to get a start I was like I can't start at this new facility until a couple weeks from now and they were able to keep me on.

Meredith: 5:56

I was helping make materials and things and I had my exit interview and, all this being said, I'm trying to get to the point where I was walking out of the exit interview and I had a thought that was very much not from my own head. It popped in my mind. It was wait until you see where you are a year from now, and I'm like, ok, that's no consolation. Right now, I'm like, all right, take your word for it. Yeah, and I kid you not, what happened on November 1, 2018, exactly one year later, two the day I gave birth to my daughter, and I was remembering because that thought came into my head again, like when all that happened I was like, OK, if I see, like this is what. I could not find that at all. Like I was working at another charter school, still earning certification. I went from going having an hour commute total to having a four hour total do my new job, taking the bus and the train and being in my first semester of pregnancy. It was just a lot.

Lily: 7:14

I can't even fathom that. Bless you.

Meredith: 7:20

It was not the most fun time, oh yes, but as that time passed and it was just very much being all right. This is what you need to be doing now, because after that school year, I actually tried to find another employment because that school closed while I was working. Yeah, fine, but I can't go back to work there. So I was trying to find another employment, but nothing. And out I got interviews, second interviews, but it's just no offers, nothing. So I took that as my sign and like, no, this is what the next talk. That's me, that's me motherhood. Yeah, it was just kind of that Wait until you are a year from now. Here's your baby. And really so, my first start, mia.

Meredith: 8:16

So she was born during breast-to-heart season, so we were quarantining before quarantining was cool in the fall of 2019 of this time to keep her healthy. And she had to have a lip repair because she was born with a clapped lip and we were just trying to keep her healthy, keep her safe. So we kept her healthy, kept her safe and she had her lip repair. I remember 2020. And I kid you not, she had her lip repair. Then she had another surgery. She had to go in the next week for a revision because crazy things, but then had her post-op after that and then everything shut down and plus we're an elected procedure. So I had friends in the community who were freaking out because, depending on the severity, there are a lot of plus surgeries that were postponed or canceled because of COVID and everything going on in the medical field. With COVID, plus we're put in the back burner and we're like, oh my gosh, like if we had not gone to the extremes that we had gone, then we very well could have been in a C-boat with being postponed or canceled for the time and that just was not what would have been best for her. And so that was kind of another one of those circumstances of like, hey, well, that's part of God's plan. It's just not a coincidence that things worked out the way they did.

Meredith: 9:54

And again, so I have three kids Nia's, my first, and my middle name's, aiden and I'm not speaking him on purpose but for the purposes of this call. It's kind of jumped to my other medical child. As much as I look at my children, it's just kind of like a jump to my third because, to be honest with you, he's where I really see more than coincidences. It's because, like all these different circumstances, he's really where I've seen God's plan.

Meredith: 10:30

And I started really with his anatomy scan, since Nia had a cleft lip with all my kids, I'm like I think I have a cleft. I think I have a cleft because I can see it, like I know what I'm looking for. You know how to spot one. I can see it on the ultrasound. That ended up being the case for Nolan not for Aiden, but for my third Nolan and I saw it and I just burst into tears and, like you know, we've done this rodeo. I know this, I can work through it and get through it. But I remember that date because I was gonna have the appointment and they called me and they said, oh, your.

Meredith: 11:13

OB is not in office today, but you can still come in for your anatomy scan and then he'll call you with the results and that's fine. But then with the cleft, I suspect they're gonna tell me about that because I already know. And then I'm sitting in a room after and another doctor comes in and I'm like you know, I'm not supposed to be seeing a doctor. This is something not quite right. And sure enough he explained how Nolan would have a heart defect and this shock of like what is this? There are so many unknowns about what does this mean. And at that time it was kind of the best case scenario was you need major invasive surgeries, like a series of surgeries shortly after birth, and worst case scenario is you won't make it.

Lily: 12:12

Yeah.

Meredith: 12:13

And it was just whole new anxiety Like what is gonna happen, what is meant for this baby in this? How is this a part of it? And I have seen little miracles because I could do not. Literally days after that we, like we're sitting with this news, you know, and just we'd only really told our families. And I was at church with my brother-in-law's former machine companion. They served in England together. I don't know why he didn't go to church with my brother-in-law. He went to church with us as a family.

Lily: 12:54

Okay, because you guys are cooler, we're cooler.

Meredith: 12:59

I mean he was married to my brother-in-law Went to the single floor I don't know if he just wanted to go, I don't know. But we got to talking Like I'm gonna like just getting to know him, and he said, yeah, my wife's not here Because she's at work. Oh, what do you do for work? And what does she do for work? And he said she's a nurse at the cardiac intensive care unit at Primary Building Hospital. And I'm like really.

Lily: 13:23

I have some questions for you.

Meredith: 13:27

If you ever thought about it like that, she'd be happy to talk to you and like would love to know if there are any, that you can give me your phone number. I'm like, oh my gosh, we just found out about this. And this is just just like an anchor point of like, okay, here's the name, here's the number of like two, two Right, talk to you and get some answers in time when there were none. It's just right. And later too, though, thinking about those little miracles was we met a nurse who let me backtrack for a second, because I feel like, with news like this, things like this, you get little miracles, not just for you, but for your family or for people who are going through, or like a little directly, because, sister, she's an avid outdoor enthusiast, she rock climbs and she travels all over for rock climbing. Yeah, actually, went to British Columbia. She lives in Washington right now, but she was up in Victoria, british Columbia, and he called me. He said Mary, I'm on a rock. Right now I'm in British Columbia. I'm like, I didn't know that's where you were. I don't know that's what you're doing, but you're calling me right now, okay.

Meredith: 14:45

And she said I had the most amazing conversation with this lady who was also there, because I guess with different rock climbing places, you kind of like wait, to like get up and then start going to the next right and go. So she was talking to someone in her group and just oh, where are you from? That's a good time. What do you do? I'm a nurse at the Cardiac and Pensive Care Unit at Primary Children's Hospital. I'm like, what are the chances?

Meredith: 15:14

I think not that big of a unit, like I've been here for some time now. There's not that many people there. I'm on a first hand basis with probably 80% of that unit and it's just, it was just wild and it just blew my mind because I ended up meeting her later. I'm like, oh, like, because I got her name, are you this person? Like the rock climbing? And we clicked like, oh yeah, like I met your sister one on rock climbing, just yeah, another one of those moments of like hey, wow, like this here's a little tender mercy, it's just making a connection and having someone on your side and just like giving you that little nugget or say that's got to be so.

Meredith: 15:56

comforting and especially is as we've been having multiple hospitalizations with Nolan and, like we, as I was telling you earlier before we started the interview, this was our third time in the hospital and just having this mojave face, and when we were in the hospital in November, early December.

Meredith: 16:25

It all works together. But I still have a little context for this next little story. It is all kind of fluid I was pumping for Nolan because with his heart condition and his surgery it affected how the nerve that affects your swallowing ability to swallow liquid safely and then you can liquid for them that's not through there in G2. Because he has an NG2 that goes into his stomach and he's able to have where the hormone can see that way. But anything through a bottle has to be taken. So anyway, I was pumping for him, we were fortifying it and it was taking such a toll on my body, is pumping his heart. It's very hard I'll get out because it's just constant where if you're not pumping your sand or you're storing, you're not storing your sand and just round the clock, round the clock and finally I got food poisoning literally in the hospital and it just shut down my supply drastically.

Meredith: 17:37

I was like all right, this is a new, a new low in terms of sickness. I've never been sick like that, but I had just this med of like you wouldn't have stopped any other way. I was like, well, thank you, I guess I'm not taking the lunge of like can we just stop? I guess I've been thinking about it for some time. It's just like you know this isn't super sustainable with how much time this is taking, and I mean I'm not being the mother I need to be for my other kids in terms of in times for them.

Meredith: 18:15

Like it was just I mean, it was not the right choice for us at that time, as much as I wanted to give him that, as much as I wanted to continue sustaining him through that. It was just kind of this little hard stop of you know you're done and I guess that was kind of a another tend mercy. In that perspective, I mean just figuring out a new way forward, even if it was not what I had vision. But the cool thing is, though, I have so much I stopped in December. He is still being fed on breast milk from what I was able to pump and what I still have stored in my freezer.

Lily: 19:08

Oh my gosh, that is really cool, I guess.

Meredith: 19:12

Just all this being said, I think, just with this coming full circle, my degree wasn't it's about becoming a teacher, because, let's be honest, raising children is kind of teaching all at once the children's theater all at once. That's correct. Figuring out and following the child, and just also being more empathetic, more receptive, accepting, and I feel like those are just all things that I mean when I went into being a teacher and like I'm going to teach, I'm going to do that thing, but I am still doing that, just not in a capacity that I thought. That doesn't make it any less valuable. It's just how I need to magnify those skill sets.

Lily: 20:05

Right. I think that that's a really valuable skill that you've learned, and I think your kids will honestly be really blessed for that, you know. So how would you say that in all of these, when you're looking back, how do you think it has fortified your testimony, Is it? You know, I lost my job, but hearing the voice, just let me take that step into the dark. Or, you know, when I didn't know what was happening with no one, we got the diagnosis meeting those two people. Let me take that step into the dark, you know, Is that kind of the theme I'm sensing? Or how would you describe these experiences as anchoring you to Christ? How do you think that they've solidified your testimony?

Meredith: 20:52

I think I mean you hear the expression like taking a leap of faith, or even a leap to faith, but this is almost like a drop into faith, taking that tiny step that, like the Himalayas are a little bit timely like and I kind of think of that like these late kind of things, like don't take it somewhere, people are not great, but nice, right, right, just taking those little steps because it's and as you take those little steps, you get assurance of like this is where you need to be going, this is how it's, this is according to the plan maybe not your plan, but the plan and keep trusting that it's all going to work out. But that's the thing that's changing me, too, though, is it's not necessarily that it's not going to work out, but it's. How much is that going to hurt me? How much is this new okay going to hurt?

Lily: 21:57

Right, I think faith hurts. Sometimes. I think the stretching and the impact of the faith drop, yeah, upon impact. I'm usually like why? And then you stand up, mend your broken self and you're like, oh okay, maybe that wasn't as bad as I thought, or maybe it was bad, and you're like I don't want to do that again, but I learned my lesson. Please don't do that again. So I know that in the beginning you brought up how this, how these experiences have also kind of strengthened your testimony, and also in motherhood. So you, you maybe want to expand on that a little bit too, I think as a mother and embracing motherhood, it's really taught me how to give myself grace.

Meredith: 22:55

And in terms of connecting that to the gospel, I mean, you know our savior, it's by grace that we are saved, after all. And, yes, we're still doing our best by Christ's grace. It's what just makes up the difference. It makes all the difference Completely. I think I've just learned a lot about grace and how that applies to me as a mother, but also as an individual and as the child of God. I just mean I'm doing my best and that's it's got to be enough. I mean don't sell myself off short for doing everything I can, because caring and worrying I mean like if you're worried about it, it means you're already a good. I mean it's a little bit of a double edged story because like I shouldn't have to worry. It's just that reassurance of like Kay, like you do, you are trying and just give yourself grace as you're growing in this new chapter of life.

Lily: 23:53

Are there any other stories or thoughts that you have that you'd like to share before you leave us with the testimony?

Meredith: 24:00

I think I've shared most of oh. I did want to share one more layer too, though, of that story with the nurse who is a rock climber. Yeah, and this was back when no, my third was we have like an induction date, when we knew when all of this was what happened, ideally, but we had the induction date and it came out that like, oh, that's when she'll be there. And the nurse said, oh, that's my birthday. And I'm like that's your. What are we? Okay, this is kind of another level. Like after 365 days a year, that's your birthday. Okay.

Lily: 24:39

Well, awesome. I really appreciate you reaching out to me and sharing your testimony and these experiences. Would you mind giving us a little testimony really fast?

Meredith: 24:55

Yeah, I've come across a scripture that I want to share as part of the testimony. Well, there's two actually, so the first is Psalm 55-22. It says Cast thy burden upon the Lord. He shall sustain. He shall never suffer. The righteous be moved. And the next one kind of ties to that. It's Micah 7-7.

Meredith: 25:21

Therefore, I will look into the Lord, I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. I feel like those two just really kind of sum up as much as can be summed up. Summed up, things doesn't have to wait, with children and really leaning on to God's plan and God's timing is. I have to believe that they're if they plan. And if there's a plan, there's a planner. If there's a planner, there's a purpose. Even if I don't know what all those things are yet, and even if things aren't going according to my plan, I'm grateful that they are going according to God's. I just want to bring that testimony that God is in the details of our lives and is aware of each of us and our needs and where we're at, and he'll give those little sprinklings of universities if we just keep looking for him.

Lily: 26:30

Wonderful. Well, thank you, meredith, for spending time with us tonight, and we're team Nolan. We're cheering for him. We'll be setting prayers your way, hoping that he makes a speedy recovery.

Meredith: 26:42

Thanks, lily, appreciate you.

Lily: 26:53

Thanks again for tuning into More Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your story. Please follow us on social media or share us with a friend. If you have an experience you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhimcom. I can't wait to hear all of the amazing memories you all have of our Savior. See you next time.