Building Resilience Through Christ with Rhiannon

When life throws a curveball, where do we find the strength to swing back? Rhiannon's story is a beacon of hope, showcasing the resilience of the human spirit and the profound guidance faith can offer. Faced with uncertainty and struggling to find herself in college, Rhiannon experienced an intense season of depression that found relief by letting go, trusting in Christ's plan for her, and witnessing the resilience of others  going through difficult trials as she majored in recreational therapy. Her open heart reminds us that, sometimes, the most arduous paths can lead to the most rewarding destinations.

Rhiannon testifies to the significance of finding something recreational for each of us to do to fully rejoice and celebrate the wonderful God-given gift of our bodies! From painting to embracing the great outdoors, we underscore the essence of finding joy and healing in the simple things to enrich and rejuvenate our souls. 

We close our chat with Rhiannon sharing the challenges she's faced navigating church callings and recognizing personal limits is a dance that requires both grace and courage. 

Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

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Transcript

Lily: 0:06

Hello everyone and welcome to, more Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your Story. As the author and finisher of our faith, our Savior writes personal experiences into each of our lives which can later strengthen, empower and bring us peace upon reflection. This podcast is dedicated to sharing these anchoring memories from everyone's unique stories in order to collectively remember and testify of the reality of Jesus Christ and his presence in our lives. I'm your host, lily, and I'm very excited to share these experiences together. Okay, so tonight we have Rhiannon. Thanks for joining us.

Rhiannon: 0:45

Yeah, I'm happy to be here. Will you introduce yourself? Sure, I've kind of been born and raised in Utah but I got to live yoga and connect with nature and piano and art and trying to decrease my sugar intake because I eat way too much, but I just really feel the same with that, like I probably should reduce my sugar intake, but we're doing no gluten right now, so I'm like one thing at a time, absolutely there's so many things these days, but yeah, I just, I love having the mountains nearby and four seasons, like I just anyway.

Lily: 1:29

So it's awesome, yeah, sweet. Well, rhiannon, um, and I'll just. I guess we'll just get started then. So what memories do you have that you reflect on in your life, that prick your heart in remembrance of our savior Jesus Christ?

Rhiannon: 1:43

so I was having to kind of like have everything coalesce into one, because I was like, well, it's the Holy Ghost that, like, has prompted me to do certain things, but then it's God orchestrating it. But then, like, christ is like there with me in my journey. So I was trying to make sure that all kind of came together, because we, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, do believe in a Godhead, but that they are three separate beings, and so I think, being able to make the distinction that they are separate but they have different roles, but they are a team and support each other, was, like what really helped me. Like, okay, yeah, like this is Jesus Christ in my story but he also has God and the Holy Ghost all implementing that.

Rhiannon: 2:27

That's awesome, okay, well, yeah. So I think the theme I would say for mine is trusting in god, uh, when you can't see the next step. And so I'm a planner and I really like knowing exactly what I'm doing. I look at things in advance I just like to be prepared well. I've had some times in my life, obviously where that's gone off the tracks or I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

Rhiannon: 2:51

So the first one was in college I was like okay, here we go, freshman year, I'm gonna do physical therapy, like that's what I decided to do. I like to help people, um, and that just really appealed to me, and so I was like okay. So freshman's first semester was great. Second semester, however, I started chem 105 and that became the bane of my existence and I not only had to do it Monday, wednesday, friday for class, like sitting in lecture, but then I had lab the labs Tuesdays and Thursdays. That's intense, yeah. And so it was like okay, and I only a godsend was my home teacher, who that just means that the church groups in the area around the college are put together based on geographic, so like different congregations are together geographically, and so then they're saying, hey, will you kind of watch over and help out and pray for this person right?

Rhiannon: 3:51

and so that person was a good, became one of my good friends and was my chemistry tutor and helped me all the time and without him I would not have passed.

Rhiannon: 3:59

so, um, bless his heart, I am so grateful and so anyway. So I thought, okay, I made it through, I had the summer break and I thought I can do with chem 106 in four months. Well, first day of class I sat there. As soon as it ended I realized I cannot do this again. There is no way, because then after chem 106 would come, I think, two physics classes, yeah, and I just thought there is no way. So then at that point I kind of really hit a low point and like the biggest depression wave in my life, yeah, because I thought I now have no direction. I don't know what I'm doing here. I have no ties, I have no relationship Right, I know I'm only a sophomore, but you know dating at that time and so I was honestly considering transferring schools because I yeah, I just was.

Rhiannon: 4:44

I had I schools, because I yeah, I just was. I had. I remember getting the major list and I just kept crossing off a selection after selection, like there's nothing appealing, that's boring, that's totally out of my league, right. And then I remember talking to my mom about oh, I want to transfer over to this community college because they have a physical therapy assisting program. Yeah, and she said, rhiannon, I just feel like you need to stay there, something is waiting there for you. And I was like, all right, mama. Well, she is super in tune with the spirit. And so just a few weeks later I found recreational therapy, which is a new modality that kind of came out in the 80s, but it helps with leisure education.

Rhiannon: 5:25

So someone's gone through like a traumatic accident, right kind of think wheelchair automatically, but you also work with all different populations, right? Eating disorders and developmental disabilities. What's it called?

Lily: 5:39

yeah, it really could be like anything.

Rhiannon: 5:41

Prisoners.

Lily: 5:42

Yeah, incarcerated.

Rhiannon: 5:43

Yeah, anyway, so, and it's amazing there's so many applications to it, anyway, yeah. So I went and talked to. I was like what is this? I went and talked to my professor or sorry, a professor. I remember walking in and there he was in a wheelchair and I thought, okay, this is. I felt so self-conscious and nervous and so I said, just tell me about TR. And he shared his story of. He was this 14-year-old in Idaho, super outdoorsy kid, just constantly outside Right. Well, his friend was climbing over a fence after he had crossed it, holding a shotgun, and it went off and hit my professor in the back and paralyzed him.

Rhiannon: 6:25

So here he is is total lack of identity, just robbed, gone right and he said I had no idea how I was going to function, I had nothing to live for anymore yeah and then he was introduced by a friend or an associate to archery and tying arrows himself, and getting involved in this competition and he said that was my lifeline, that's what pulled me out. So so I was like, well, obviously I want to participate in this, like this sounds so incredible.

Rhiannon: 6:54

Yeah, and so I found my major. So thanks god, thanks mom, I stuck it out there and it was great. And then I also ended up up meeting a guy and we dated and we ended up getting married.

Rhiannon: 7:07

So he was also there waiting for me, so I thought I'd stuck it out and just said, okay, like we'll just finish the semester and see where it goes. And then things unfolded. So that was example one. Oh shoot, okay, I do have to go back to chemistry real quick, though, okay, so in I was taking a Book of Mormon class at the same time and my two friends were sitting on either side of me and they had heard my rants and woes of chemistry and how hard it was.

Rhiannon: 7:36

Yeah. So then I distinctly remember the exact phrase my teacher used. I don't know what he was talking about.

Rhiannon: 7:42

All of a sudden he said my friend, if you need help with chemistry, you've got to ask for it, and immediately the teacher said that yes like just addressing everyone, but then I, I got that and I like never sat on the front row, yeah, and so immediately on either side, both friends nudged me with their elbows like hey that was for you so I thought, okay, like okay, so yeah, that that was powerful. So that's actually really cool, yeah, and I I did ask for help and I did get it and you got it, I passed. So, yeah, my lowest grade ever, but that's okay, like it still worked.

Lily: 8:19

Did you ever get a chance to work in recreational therapy doing that kind of stuff, or do you think you'd want to go back and do it again?

Rhiannon: 8:26

I got to work with um women women and girls with eating disorders, yeah, and um kids with developmental disabilities, and um and adaptive camps at rec recreation centers and so, yeah, it's been really awesome. We'll see if I work with it in the future after my kids are kind of more on their own.

Lily: 8:48

But do you feel like, um, doing that line of work helping give others hope was kind of like something that helped fill your bucket? It's almost like the thing that when you were hopeless, it was given to you to do just like this thing is was given to other people when they felt hopeless. I don't know like, I just kind of feel like that's an interesting connection. So do you?

Rhiannon: 9:08

totally, because so much of you know. People go through work and what are you living for? The weekend your leisure activities, right, and so with like addiction ones. I feel like this can be applied to everyone, because what is an addiction? It's a negative coping strategy, and that's a big problem that a lot of people have with, especially with all the mental illness these days.

Rhiannon: 9:30

Um, your coping strategies are either gonna help you and support you and be a healthy thing or they're gonna be destructive and harmful, and so I feel like I was introduced to concepts and you know we took a psychology class and how to assess things and whatnot. But yeah, definitely I think it's. It does provide hope and healing and again something to find joy in for people, in for people. So I look forward to yeah, when things have been hard and okay, instead of going and I worked at an internship for the women and girls with eating disorders and so like that was. It is an addiction, like that's how they are handling the pressures of life.

Rhiannon: 10:17

It's not about the food. That is the result of them trying to control something and find a way to deal with all the waves of emotions and and stresses right, and so being able to say hey look, you should try doing art, or let's go snowshoeing, or let's do gosh. I'm trying to think of some other things, but let's find an alternative for you to pick when you're feeling that, instead of reverting, okay, so that's.

Lily: 10:46

That's kind of what your role was. Then was someone I don't want to say to help them find a hobby, but help them find like something meaningful, to like take their to cut, to help cope and take their mind off of things and to focus, like the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual somewhere else.

Rhiannon: 11:02

Yeah, right, absolutely yeah, and that was actually like the definition, and my professor would be kind of disappointed me, but he would like snap his fingers. We'd all raise our hands. We'd say recreational therapy is the modality of helping and the physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, something, something anyway I have the gist.

Rhiannon: 11:19

But so yes, and the the other thing I was gonna say about it is um, it can also be a lot of the rehabilitation part yeah and so an example my professor shared is like, okay, if you're dealing with traumatic brain injury and you have left neglect, where you're at, your right hemisphere is damaged so you can't see your peripheral vision is cut off he's like okay, well, instead of like here, let's do these eye exercises, which can get boring, or I? Don't know what other things? But there is a place for physical and occupational, like everything is needed.

Rhiannon: 11:53

This is just an additional like yeah, well, maybe something a little more fun yes, so it's something to engage in that you don't realize you're doing work as much. And so he's like oh, if they're like, you have them, use their left hand to be painting and you're slowly shifting over where they dip their brush. So subconsciously their brain is getting retrained, but they're not having to like, recognize, like they're not in that.

Lily: 12:16

They're consciously see that.

Rhiannon: 12:17

Yes, whoa, that's cool yeah, just stuff like that. And then there's just, there's just so much available out there for people, because it used to be like, oh, if I can't walk again life's over. I'm like, oh my gosh, there's so many resources for people with spinal cord injuries and right, it's incredible. I'm like, oh, you're good, like I promise you there's tons of stuff.

Lily: 12:39

Well, so then I guess. Sorry, I have one last question yeah, you're good, I think this is cool. So what would you say then? Because my thought immediately went to. You know, there are a lot of people out there who are struggling with mental health or just life stressors because life is really crazy right now, yes, it is.

Rhiannon: 12:54

We're just going to say that it is. Our world is.

Lily: 12:57

It's chaos. So then, what would you? You would then be a big advocate for people finding something like a hobby or something like a community to go out and try and, I don't know, maybe learn something new, or yes, I don't know, so like what? What would you do? You have any things that you specifically like to do, that you would say you should try?

Rhiannon: 13:17

this um, I am a big proponent of connecting with nature. I mean, that's been, you know, centuries as old as time you know adam and eve in the garden of eden yeah, but something about nature just connects you with the divine, and if you're not a believer in god, it's still a spiritual experience. Yeah, so being able to just do that, whether that's like I'm just gonna sit barefoot in my backyard, surrounded- by all our other.

Lily: 13:43

Like feeling the sun, because sometimes I feel like that feels so good when you just sit there and you're like I'm just gonna absorb vitamin d yeah, um I know mindfulness is a big popular topic, right?

Rhiannon: 13:55

now but it really does help your brain and, just you know, getting in tune with your body right. Just again, exploring different modalities, like you said, trying a new thing, like oh, I'm gonna go take like a pottery class or I'm gonna go, um, I don't know, paddling a canoe honestly, youtube's such a good resource.

Lily: 14:15

I learned to crochet from YouTube yeah, you just type in like I want to crochet a snake, and that's what I did. There's some people have these awesome videos that you can just follow and stuff, so I would say I would advocate for YouTube too. Youtube's really good. If you want to learn oh, absolutely Learn how to do haircuts that way?

Rhiannon: 14:31

Yeah, yeah, no, it's. It's honestly such a good tool for using that to help jumpstart a new hobby or interest. And again, it's not like saying it's just about a hobby is so far from the truth, like it goes so much deeper right and again.

Rhiannon: 14:49

It's an identity thing, it's a what you look forward to thing, it's a social aspect with who you connect with or share that gift with um and so, yeah, just trying, and my husband's awesome and he's been so supportive and saying, hey, go find what, like what rejuvenates your soul. That's a question I ask a lot of people is what rejuvenates your soul? And at first they're like, oh, just spiritual. I'm like, no, no, like what just like fills you, like what is something that just resonates? Yeah, and it's really interesting to see some of the answers they give and other people I don't really know.

Rhiannon: 15:21

I'm like okay, well, like go see if you can like get again. You have to kind of go deep and get in tune with yourself and say what right, what do I want to try, or what have I never done before, or what you I used to hate and like give that a go again.

Lily: 15:35

I don't know right right, or just try different things and just be like, okay, what can I, what can I do? Because I think even sometimes you try doing something and you're like, oh, this is kind of weird. But once you kind of get the hang of it, you're like, oh yeah, like this is really interesting. And this is kind of kind of how I felt with crocheting. I was like this is such an old lady thing. But once I do it now, like you have your cute little snake and you're like, oh, my gosh, it's a little snake and my kids absolutely love it, right like, so all these.

Rhiannon: 15:57

I don't know and it is fun at the end, but you're like I did that yeah so, and my last thing on that is give yourself some grace when you're trying something new. Like set yourself up to say I'm going to fail at this, like I'm not going to be perfect or successful the very first time, like I'm trying skateboarding right now. It is really hard. Are you really? Yeah, oh my gosh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I went and like, went to DI Desert Industries, which is just a thrift store.

Lily: 16:23

Yeah, yeah.

Rhiannon: 16:25

P DI Desert Industries, which is just a thrift store, and picked up a skateboard and for 15 bucks and I'm like, alright, here we go, and I strapped on my that is so cool gear because I'm like I'm not breaking a wrist, or no, really, though, about doing this and yeah so.

Rhiannon: 16:38

But because I already went in with that expectation of, yeah, I'm gonna fall, like this is gonna take some time to build up. It's been so helpful, so again, yeah, that's for across the board. For any new thing like, okay, I'm learning this, this is all new to me, I've never done this before, and that just helps you stick with it and not get frustrated, not get into that down world.

Lily: 17:02

The spiral, yeah, and sets expectation like realistic expectations exactly sweet yeah, oh awesome well, what's your?

Rhiannon: 17:09

what's your next thing? You? Have another yeah, so then, with getting my internship? Um, so this is near the end of my college career, so it's supposed to be. Your last semester was spent in just your internship. You couldn't take any other classes it had to be just this, and so, um, I remember trying to figure out which population I wanted to work with. At-risk youth was one that was not my. I am not a like, tough love like you are very nurturing.

Rhiannon: 17:35

Yeah, so it was, I went and volunteered one day and these girls like got into like a tiny minor fight. I'm like I I can't do this, yeah, confrontation's not your thing. And so. I was like, oh, maybe I'll try. Like eating disorders, I knew nothing other than you know the basics of anorexia and bulimia kind of talked about in health class in middle school. And so I went to two different interviews, both of which did not occur with the person I'd be directly under who would be?

Rhiannon: 18:06

my boss because she kept having family emergencies, and so I had the two interviews and then I hadn't heard anything. And it was the days were counting down in the semester. We had three days to go till finals, and then it was winter break and then your internship, yeah, and I was sitting in class with all my other cohorts and or my cohort, all my other classmates, and everyone was talking about how excited they were for their different experiences and where they were going to go and who they were going to work with.

Rhiannon: 18:35

And here I was sitting, panicking like in sheer. What am I going to do? I had no backup plan. Yeah, I had no idea what I could even fill during that time. Am I going to get kicked?

Rhiannon: 18:45

out Like what's going to happen. I'm not going to graduate with my cohort and I just remember panicking and worrying and stressing. And so then I go home that day to my little 400 square foot student center block apartment and I was doing some little art project. And then I get a call. And it's my future boss, um, from the eating disorder clinic, and she says, hi, is this Rihanna? And I said yeah, and she said, oh, this is so, and so we'd like to offer you the internship position. I said are you?

Rhiannon: 19:14

serious and she said um, yes. And I said oh no, yes, yes, I'll take it, thank you, thank you yeah, and I was. I hung up, the phone was just ecstatic and.

Rhiannon: 19:23

I really hope I said a prayer of gratitude to God at that point, but I don't remember if I did, but I was just so relieved, yeah, and all that worry and stress was not necessary, and so that was just a testament to me to be like Rhiannon God's got your back, like it's not going to go all down the drain Right, even when it seems like it.

Lily: 19:43

He's gonna like cover that up and you won't get sucked out right, or even if it does, I feel like there are lots of times in my life where it's like I'm waiting for the phone call and the phone call doesn't come and I'm like, well, what's my plan b? Like I've had that before okay so it's.

Rhiannon: 19:57

I think it's cool having to sit and figure out both ways of like okay, well, what helped you to accept the plan b or like okay, that didn't work out how I wanted it. To how, what? What was helpful for you?

Lily: 20:11

because I'm still trying to learn uh, well, you know now that I'm a very mature 29, I feel like you are mature, you have.

Rhiannon: 20:23

I I feel like you are mature now, you have.

Lily: 20:25

I feel like it's gotten slightly easier, because I just feel like my life in general is like I make the plan and then God says sorry, this is actually the plan. So I think in the beginning I was very much like angry and upset and just like why me and all of these negative emotions towards god? But at this point I'm like so here's my plan, what do you actually want me to do? I still, I still get hurt, like I still I still really grieve. What I wanted, okay, but and I think that it's important to say like it's okay to have wanted these things, especially if they are, you know, righteous desires.

Lily: 21:09

I think sometimes we have righteous desires that just aren't quote in line with his will, right, and so I think and I think that's when it hurts the most is when you're like this was a righteous desire and why isn't it happening and but I think, at least just in my experience, it's like, yeah, this sucks, okay, but I'm just gonna say I can do anything for 10 seconds and I'm just gonna move forward and just like every day, like, yeah, every 10 seconds or every day, just be like it's gonna be okay. I'm just gonna take the next step, good, next step, and just, you still feel the emotions, but I think it's you, you don't get sucked in.

Lily: 21:45

Yeah, and it's not just the not getting sucked in, I think. I think it's also, I guess, no, maybe it is. I feel like it's directional right, because I think us as human beings, as a spirit. We're a soul, right, we're a spirit and we're a body, and part of that I am curious to see if our spirits felt emotions. I don't know, I feel like they would right.

Lily: 22:08

that's something I don't know I would think they might be less, though, because of yeah yeah, well, and that's the thing that I'm curious about, like with, with our bodies, you know, I'm sure we feel, we just feel it maybe a little more intensely. Yeah, so I, I at least for me, I think, okay, it's natural to feel anger, it's natural to grieve it's natural to feel sadness, but it's the okay. Am I gonna take this grief and this anger and lash out at god? Am?

Lily: 22:35

I gonna take it and lash out at myself am I gonna let it sit and fester, take it on my children, my husband, my whatever right. I think it's okay to say I am angry and I'm trying to get over my anger. Okay, I'm trying to get over my disappointments but that doesn't make it easy, right? I don't know how helpful that was. I don't feel like that was very helpful.

Rhiannon: 22:57

I think that was good to say, instead of always having us so determined to have our way, like this is my perfect plan because ultimately, yeah, god's the omniscient, omnipotent one who's right, planned for thousands upon thousands of eons.

Lily: 23:12

Yeah, he's in advance for things, not ruin my plan, okay I have planned this for a millennia I promise it's the perfect thing for you right and so what you said, though, was like okay, this is my plan, but is it yours?

Rhiannon: 23:26

like I just want to do what you want me to do, like this is what I want, but I'm willing to adapt and be flexible. Again, managing expectations, yeah and so.

Lily: 23:34

I've definitely had to learn to manage expectations.

Rhiannon: 23:37

That's the hardest thing, though it really is it's true, but, um, yes, so with plans, yeah, just being, and again, I guess going back for quick direct therapy is, yeah, being adaptable, yeah, learning how to do something a different way. Yeah, and uh, like Bethany Hamilton, when you know, I don't know if people remember, but she's a soul surfer, yes, yeah, so she was like a year older than me when this happened, so it hit really close to home.

Rhiannon: 24:08

But she's this awesome surfer liking to go pro yeah, accident where a shark, a shark attack, yeah, bites off her arm. So she only has one arm now. Yeah, and she's trying to function and learn this of being a teenager. Yeah, I can't even imagine, and so, and she just I love her exemplifying christ and like giving it to him, like he's the reason I've been, I've been able to be courageous, and so she has used her fame. Like she went on, she adapted, yeah, she learned how to be resilient and work with that, to keep surfing, yeah and um, and I think she's a mom now.

Lily: 24:41

Oh, oh yeah, she's got like three boys. She has like all kinds of things.

Rhiannon: 24:44

Yeah, she does retreats for women with limb differences and so, but again she like uses that to testify of Christ and how he supported her, because she's like this is not my plan, I was going to go do this.

Rhiannon: 24:57

And she went to do it anyway, but she's like more famous because of that, because of that, so of that, because of that. So, yeah, I just anyway. So I love being able to see that like, okay, here's your plan. It didn't work out, let's be resilient. Yes, give it to God, don't get mad at him. Right, ultimately, this is the better way readjust our expectations.

Rhiannon: 25:15

Yeah um, so my other. I have two more experiences. Yeah, one was signing up my son for kindergarten and I'd prayed about where to go. He had two options, nearby both which were great schools, and I felt the one. I was like okay. So I got them all signed up and then COVID hit and the world shut down and I was like okay. So randomly I was driving by like in the summer, so that's like kind of late in the game for registering kids for for school, like you have to be on it in like january for any like charter school, yeah, and stuff, yeah, charter, or even preschool.

Rhiannon: 25:48

These days it's okay, january, oh, wow, okay, yeah, um. And so I was driving by and it was like uh, your son needs to go to this other school instead. I'm like, really like, because you told me that this one, this one first then, and I followed that. And then you know, two, three months later, it's like no, god's like you need to send him here, and I was like okay, so I did.

Rhiannon: 26:11

It was a lottery system, so I thought, well, if he gets in, it's meant to be, if he doesn't. It's not meant to be and he still has the other school as backup backup and so he got in and it's been a really good placement for him and no one else in our area goes to that school, yeah, so we're kind of just like okay again.

Rhiannon: 26:32

Something my husband and I've talked about a lot is like doing what's correct for you and your family and what God has intended for you, rather than trying to look at what everyone else is doing like oh well, they're doing this, so then we should adopt that too. Right, no Not necessarily Right, and so that's been like, okay, we're going to kind of be the oddball out here, yeah, and do that. So I just that's been a very distinctive memory and experience for me.

Rhiannon: 26:59

And then one time so I really like being a mom, but it's been really trying sometimes, and so one day I was in the basement and my kids were playing and they were still pretty young, but anyway, I was just having a horrible day and I was depressed and I was like I hate motherhood, like I'm such a bad mom to them and I just was so down on myself so I was like hiding under a and I just like, and I just was praying in my heart and in my head.

Rhiannon: 27:37

I'm like god, I'm so sorry, like I wanted to be better for them so much because they are such precious little angels and they teach you so much. But it's hard and I just was like they deserve better and anyway. So I said amen, and then, literally probably five seconds later, my son comes and opens up the blanket and looks at me, said you're a good mom, and I just started bawling, and so that just is. Like God is aware and my kids are aware, and like I think that's one thing I've gained from, and I tell them all the time I'm like, ok, I love you, and I have emotions too, though, and so please like, forgive me when I mess up, when I'm not as patient as I need to be, when I snap at you, right, like I am still learning, like, and especially with him, he's my firstborn.

Rhiannon: 28:29

And I'm like, hey, you're like we're in this together as new. I've never done this before. You're my first, so, but I've just been. I think it's been really healthy to be open and honest, because I feel like a few generations or even just one generation ago it was very like you stifle your emotions you're suppressed, just deal with it. Don't talk to your kids about what you're experiencing.

Rhiannon: 28:50

You're just supposed to kind of be the rock and yeah, but it's really helpful for them to be like, oh yeah, like my parents are people too and yeah, they mess up and they apologize like right I. So I always, always try to make sure I reconcile with my kids after I've screwed up yeah, I'm like I'm sorry, that was not okay to do that. It was okay I was upset, but what I did with that and the way I reacted or responded was not helpful so well.

Lily: 29:16

I think that that's you modeling the gospel of jesus christ in your home right. It's you showing them. You know, I have to repent too. Yep, I have to say I'm sorry too. And I think that that's really powerful, because when things like that come from a trusted adult, I think it has a lot more impact on them.

Rhiannon: 29:33

Oh yeah, I grew up viewing my parents as kind of superheroes. You know they can fix every problem that you bring to them.

Rhiannon: 29:40

Do no wrong. Yeah, do no wrong. Well, kind of, but yeah, like, yeah, like more like. Oh, they don't mess up as badly as I do, like they still kind of like make little mistakes, yeah, you know, but they're like they got it all together and right. But as you age, and especially, I think, in the teenage years and then in the young adult years, and then, like after you get married and have kids of your own, you're like, whoa, like, my parents are people too, and I have to kind of adjust that viewpoint. I just think that's such an interesting transformation. Yeah, because you're now like more on their equal.

Rhiannon: 30:10

They're no longer this like I always think older people and more authority figures have more weight in their opinions and ideas right than me, and that's not a correct way to say things. Yeah, um, and so having that loving stewardship of being able to see, oh yeah, my mom needed to repent today yeah and I forgave her, which they are so good at forgiving I know, I don't know how kids do it.

Rhiannon: 30:34

Oh my goodness, bless their, bless their hearts, literally like they, yeah, yeah, you're like, oh my gosh, thank you, yeah, with all that just being open and honest and genuine, I think is boiling it down Like being genuine with your kids about your emotions, your experiences and owning to when you mess up and being accountable, right, because then that helps them say, oh okay, if they're doing that, I can do it too, right, and everyone messes up and makes mistakes. It's not just a kid thing, because it can get really discouraging for them. Like I always do this or this never works out. I'm like, no, let's not use all or nothing language. Like you have to recognize, and I would say how many more years of practice on this skill do I have than you? A lot, a lot, and I'm still not good at it. Yeah, right, yeah.

Rhiannon: 31:26

Sometimes I'm like, okay, well, you're already better than this thing and you're this old and I'm never gonna get to your level because that's just your forte and strength and I'm okay with that, yeah, um and so yeah, just being to able to recognize and nurture and provide that atmosphere of healthy emotional expression, right, so, um, yeah do you feel like we should do that with people we're around too, like with it with other friends?

Lily: 31:56

being genuine, yeah, I feel like I was just thinking about that. I think a lot of the times we have this really weird dynamic in our culture now where mental health is so prevalent and so big and so known and everybody talks about it, but I still feel like people don't talk that makes sense like how often do we like we might say oh I'm, you know I have this thing going on and you might go see a therapist, but how often do you really confide in your friends?

Lily: 32:22

yeah, or how often do you really I don, I don't know like reach out and discuss those really hard things with each other? I don't know, I don't know if that's, maybe I'm off base.

Rhiannon: 32:35

No, I think.

Rhiannon: 32:36

I think obviously it's like with anything, this is a deep part of you and you're saying like I have a problem right now and a lot of people don't want to say when they have problems because it's hard to admit that yeah, and there's a lot of like shame, guilt, judgment, fear of rejection.

Rhiannon: 32:52

There's a lot wrapped up in it. But, as I was telling a family member who's going through some hard mental health stuff and I've kind of shared my journey with depression and I'm like the more people I kind of just not necessarily laid out in the open, but I'm like, oh yeah, like I struggle with this too, or this is what's going on with me right now. I think it does deepen relationships, for sure, to open up, but again, do you have to go tell that to every single person in the world? No right time and a place and determining who you're okay with sharing with, who you know you're gonna be treated with respect and support, right, um, but I think obviously the more people you tell, the more people you can just have on your team and praying for you or cheering for you or sending you good vibes, and so, while it is really uncomfortable, it definitely, I think, opens the door for other people to be like oh wait, she, she struggles with that.

Rhiannon: 33:52

No, yeah, she's. She's so good, though, like she's so again we put people on pedestals, or their lifestyles or choices, and then we realize like, oh, like they have crap.

Rhiannon: 34:03

No, people too yeah, yeah and um, so just yeah, being genuine and authentic and, I think, trying to use the spirit as a guide of them, like, okay, I should open up to this person about this, because maybe they're needing to hear right about your struggle and also being willing to listen to others, right, but having boundaries of like. I want you to share this with me, but I don't know if I want to know, like every, every everything.

Rhiannon: 34:30

Yeah, Because then that can. I'm a very empathetic person, and so I'm like oh my gosh that can be really weighty.

Rhiannon: 34:35

I need to help them because I just take on that charge and I have to remember, like Jesus Christ already has got it taken care of. He's the ultimate healer, he's the only one who can ultimately reach them and help them. That is not your job. You can support, you can pray, you can help, you can show love, but it is not up to you to quote, unquote fix them, because even Christ isn't fixing them. He's helping them to transform, to change their own hearts, to change and find the mental capacity, the spiritual perspective, the physical capability to deal with whatever they have in God's plan for them to grow Right and progress. So yeah, it's so. That's my thought on that. That was really powerful. What?

Lily: 35:21

you just said right there, I gave you goosebumps. Okay, that was really cool, that was great.

Rhiannon: 35:24

Yeah, because we do often. I don't know, maybe other people are better at that, but I feel you know we're taught and this is a big proponent of our church and the gospel of Jesus Christ is to help others, to serve them, to make sacrifices. Yeah, but that comes at a cost sometimes, and I think it's important to also put boundaries on saying no and like I can't do that right now. And it's okay to say no, yeah, it's okay to. Okay, I'm going to have to share an experience.

Rhiannon: 35:52

But I wasn't planning on sharing Anyway, but being able to, because again the Savior had boundaries. He went and rejuvenated himself and took time to be alone with the Father and to recoup. Because you know, just ministering and serving other people takes a lot out of you and you think on like the level he was doing, of the miracles of blindness and leprosy, and you know there's obviously mental stuff in there too, but a lot of the ones we hear are about our physical. I can only imagine having that power and virtue given to heal and help other people, and he hadn't even experienced and undergone the atonement yet yeah and I just was like, oh my gosh.

Rhiannon: 36:42

So I remember two things that came to mind. Hopefully, then, we're done. Um, so in college is where I had my really big wave of depression, but I didn't realize that's quite what it was when that very first hit. And then later I was like, oh yeah, that was that's it.

Rhiannon: 37:00

And my parents were awesome, super supportive, but I remember having this like this is the image I can describe with depression is you're in the very bottom of this super dark, deep well and it is so far down that other people from the top might be trying to reach out and help you, but they they can't and, like I, just you're like laying like face down, like just surrounded by darkness, and then the savior extends his hand and he holds it, but he doesn't grab your hand.

Rhiannon: 37:34

He is waiting for you to reach out, which sometimes is so hard like I have had multiple experiences where I'm in that spiral or that wallowing and I'm like, no, I don't want to, I don't want to change, I don't want to have to get up and try again. I just want to lay here and and be loathing and just, yeah, not not keep going. And then, but as soon as I make that switch, that decision, to say okay, I'm, I'm going to reach out, and he's only asking you to like move an inch or something like just raise your arm, that's all I'm asking you to do, and then he's the one that pulls you out the rest of the way out of the well. But that's just been and maybe I can make that into some sort of art image or something, because that's again, it's only his power that can truly reach us but it we have to do our part, we have to reach out right.

Rhiannon: 38:27

There has to be action on our end, too right for his grace to take effect on our lives. So, and then my last one is, um. So I got to work with a really amazing woman and she was the release society president of our, which is just the leader of the women 18 years and older, and she had no clue who I was and she called me as her assistant secretary.

Rhiannon: 38:54

Now we had other positions that were more common, like there's a first and second counselor and they just provide support to the president and they kind of their different roles. And a secretary Right, why is the assistant secretary? So I was this random addition tacked on. I'm like I don't even know what I'm doing here and I remember meeting her for the first time. She's like, oh, I had no idea who you were, but your name just kind of jumped out on the list of possibilities. I'm like, okay, here we go. Yeah, so we were working together and doing things and then guess what, covid hit again, um, and she went through some medical stuff, and so we're like, is she gonna like step down? But she was playing on, keeping going, um, and then she, she and Bishop were like no, like it's someone else's turn yeah and my name came up, so I remember.

Rhiannon: 39:47

Um, so our Bishop is just the leader of our little local congregation and so, again, I really hadn't ever talked to him. We'd only been in the ward area of congregation for like a year, yeah. And so he came to our house with a little mask on and in the middle of summer, and he's like hey, we want to extend this calling to you to be the next president.

Rhiannon: 40:06

And I was all excuse me what's going on and so I I remember saying I'm gonna have to really pray and think about this for myself, because usually a big teaching in our church is like you just accept a calling because it's the lord extending it to you from bishop or right and so um.

Rhiannon: 40:26

But I was like I had to. I kind of went through the five stages of grace yeah, like I'm like, why are you, you know? Anger denial, sadness, like I was like oh my gosh. And then finally acceptance, like I was praying in my bed one night and I'm like I need to accept this calling. So here I was super young, all my counselors were older than me. Yeah, I think at the time I went through a few anyway.

Rhiannon: 40:53

So here we go, like figuring this unprecedented time out for leading women who I can't even like go visit in their homes, which is what a typical like that was a big would be a big part is visiting and ministering and loving these sisters. We'll have to do that without being able to be there in person.

Rhiannon: 41:11

But we had a lot of porch side chats and a lot of phone calls and FaceTimes and Zooms and texting, like there are still some women that I talked to but never met and they moved out like it. It was just a very unique time, yeah, anyway. So that went by, we were chugging along and um, we're like over a year later and I start to feel myself crack. And that was really hard for me because I'm very duty bound, I am responsible, I want to make sure I'm kind of a people pleaser we're working on that to be healthy but I don't want to let people down. I want to meet what's expected of me and I remember we were meeting with the other adult leaders and what's called ward council and then we had like a tiny 30 minute break before our church meetings began and I went to the bathroom and I just sobbed because I felt so overwhelmed, so burdened, so stretched out and drained and that happened for a few times and I started thinking I don't think that's what's supposed to be happening.

Rhiannon: 42:26

And so I remember sitting in one of our temples, which is just a sacred building that you have to get a recommend into and meet certain standards that they ask you about your testimony worthiness to enter, and there was a painting of christ calming the storm when he's on the boat in the sea of galilee and everyone's like master cares, though not that we perish and he's standing there, you know, just so peaceful, and I thought he can calm your storm.

Rhiannon: 42:55

So I thought, okay, I got this, like I'm gonna keep going, because typically you would be in for three years before the next person would take over.

Rhiannon: 43:03

Well, that was not going to be the case for me. So, yeah, I really grappled with this decision, like I kept thinking and trying and persevering and pushing and it just was not cutting it. And so I remember talking with Bishop, because we would meet um a couple times a month and just him and me to talk about the sisters and what's going on and how to love and again, keep ministering and serving them and supporting, and not just spiritually but physically, emotionally, mentally. And I was like, bishop, I think we might need to start looking at calling someone else. And he's like you know what? Let's have you churn on that. You know, like an ice cream machine churns, yeah, and it takes some time. So he's like let's churn on that. And then I get a text from him during sacrament meeting saying we're gonna meet after church today. You're done churning. And I'm like, okay, wow, um, yeah, so it's uh, spoke to both of you yeah.

Rhiannon: 44:00

so he and my in-laws were in town randomly and staying with us at this time. So I'm like, hey, honey, to my husband, like I got to meet with Bishop, and he's always like, yep, go do your thing, he's so amazing that way.

Rhiannon: 44:12

So then we sat in his office that was his last interview of the day and with our bishops. They're volunteers, so they don't get compensated. This, so they don't get compensated, this is not their full-time job. He has a full-time job. He has a family of his own. He has other responsibilities. He's trying to balance yep in a in conjunction with this.

Rhiannon: 44:28

So here, he's been gone from his family like all day long. He's been at church, he's met with other people yeah, it's the end of the day, like he's ready to go home, but he was taking the time to meet with me. Yeah, and we sat there and I was just bawling for 45 minutes straight and we're trying to think about okay, if you stay, what comes up for you, if you decide to leave, what comes up for you? And he's like God's not letting me have the answer, like this has got to come from you, rhiannon. I said okay. So I finally just took a deep breath and calmed myself and a distinct voice said I'm done, I'm done. I said I'm done, bishop. He said that's it OK. And it was a huge wave of peace and relief for me and because I also worried like what are people going to think? Like I couldn't hack it and because I also worried like what are people going?

Rhiannon: 45:23

to think Like I couldn't hack it. So a lot of just self-recriminating thoughts and worries about what other people were going to deem as a bad choice, yeah, and so I walked out of there and I was like you know what? That's okay. I've done what God needed me to do and it was enough.

Lily: 45:39

Right.

Rhiannon: 45:40

I was enough to do and it was enough. Right, I was enough. And for me to try to keep pushing and acting like I can do this and not, and shutting down, avoiding, right, letting things drop, that's not gonna be fair to Bishop, that's not gonna be fair to the sisters, right, they're both not getting the love and support they need. So it's okay to pass the torch or baton, so to speak. And then our wonderful, sweet, um, current release day president was selected and that was also cool to, yeah, be able to be part of that because bishop consulted me. He's like who do you think it should be? Um, and she's been doing awesome and she's who we needed.

Rhiannon: 46:16

But I just a lot of people. I was really worried about what people were gonna think after that and no one, at least to my face, said anything like why couldn't you just stick it out, like come on, it's not that hard, or like you weren't in for very long, yeah, um, everyone just was like, oh, like, thank you so much, like you were great and my one person that I didn't know even that well, but now we're more friends.

Lily: 46:47

She was like.

Rhiannon: 46:48

I was like really impressed that you did that, like that was that took some courage and guts, yeah, and to say I can't do this anymore and so, and not that like any of their opinions should validate, like oh, oh, yeah, because other people said this it was the right thing to do. But like I'm like hey, god, in the words of Joseph Smith, I knew it and I, god knew and I knew that, god knew it and I could not deny it right.

Rhiannon: 47:15

So that's my big like yes, we want to serve in our callings and be in the roles that god needs us to be, but please don't feel like expectations or like culture, um kind of traditions like oh this is how long you're in for and you always do this needs to be how you live your life, because, ultimately, it's god's plan for you, right, and he's looking out for you.

Rhiannon: 47:43

He knows your limits, he knows your strengths and your gifts, and so he's ultimately who should be directing and influencing your life and your decisions yeah and so, yep, the savior is totally helping me so much through that calling and helped me since and he always will be there, and so I'm just really grateful that he's, um, loved me enough to die for me and to suffer for all the things.

Rhiannon: 48:12

Not only that like I experienced, because that's just life, but also like the pain and suffering I've caused for other people. Like thank you so much for making up for that and and redeeming me from my mess ups for other people, because I'm like, yeah, crap can happen to me, that's hard and thank you for supporting me, but I feel like that's the real part of his atonement and redemption and grace is like thank you for helping me have a clean slate every day and every week when I partake of the sacrament. Thank you for helping me feel like I can be clean and worthy and I can keep going and I'm still loved and I can keep serving and you're going to work with me and never leave me, and I say that in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Lily: 49:00

Amen. Thank you, Rhiannon, for your time tonight. We really appreciate it.

Rhiannon: 49:03

You're welcome.

Lily: 49:06

Thanks again for tuning into More Than Coincidence Remembering Jesus Christ in your Story. Please follow us on social media or share us with a friend. If you have an experience you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to morethancoincidence rememberhim at gmailcom. I can't wait to hear all of the amazing memories you all have of our Savior. See you next time.