“Look At Me” with Abigail

How would you handle driving through a dangerous canyon in white out blizzard conditions with no cell service and being so low on gas you have no idea if you’ll make it home safely? Join me and Abigail as she recounts this hair-raising experience from her Bible college days that lead to an unexpected revelation on trusting in God’s ability to get us through all life's unpredictable storms.

Abigail then delves into how her lesson from the canyon to always “look at Christ” has strengthened her throughout the emotional rollercoaster experienced by military spouses during deployment and military life. Furthermore, we discuss balancing the pressures of motherhood and self-criticism and how intentional discipleship and finding connection through fellowshipping others can bring relief and comfort.

Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Hello everyone and welcome to. More Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your Story as the author and finisher of our faith, our Savior writes personal experiences into each of our lives which can later strengthen, empower and bring us peace upon reflection. This podcast is dedicated to sharing these anchoring memories from everyone's unique stories in order to collectively remember and testify of the reality of Jesus Christ and his presence in our lives. I'm your host, lily, and I'm very excited to share these experiences together. Good evening everybody. Today we have Abigail. How are you doing? I'm doing good. How are you Good? Would you mind introducing yourself a little bit.

Speaker 2: 0:48

Yes, so I'm Abigail. I am 28 years old, I have three kids Jay, Zoe and Maddie and I'm married. I've been married for almost eight years. I've done so. I love fitness, gym stuff. I've completed 75 hard four times now, so you've probably seen me walking in the neighborhood. Yeah, what else? I love to make sourdough bread, like I was telling you about, and yeah, Sweet. That's awesome.

Speaker 1: 1:17

No, that's great.

Speaker 2: 1:18

Oh, wait, wait, Let me tell you I'm a convert. I went to Bible school before I became a convert.

Speaker 1: 1:23

Yeah, Well, I'm super happy that you're here tonight and it's been really fun just catching up. So I'll just ask you the question, abigail what memories in your life do you reflect on that prick your heart and remembrance of Jesus Christ and anchor you to him?

Speaker 2: 1:37

okay, so I want to share a story from actually Bible college. Share this experience the best that I can um. So when I was going into Bible college, I was in Wyoming, so it's a town of LaGrange, wyoming, if anybody knows where that is. It's about 250 people that live there. So you can run like the whole city within like a little bit of time.

Speaker 1: 1:57

Just only one stop sign.

Speaker 2: 1:58

Everybody knows you yes. Like that close and so it's about 45 minutes from Cheyenne. So if you need to go to the grocery store you've got to really travel. So I had this roommate that um came over to my room today and she's like do you want to go to Denver with us or Denver with me?

Speaker 2: 2:15

and I was like yeah, but like we don't have a car so we're gonna have to find someone to get us a car and or like, let us borrow theirs, and it's about two and a half hours away, so I wasn't super close to her. But like she's, like I like you and I want to get to know you and I'm like I don't know if a road trip is a good idea, then we're stuck with each other in case something goes wrong.

Speaker 2: 2:34

You don't like me 30 minutes in the drive. You got a while. And so one of these like sweet ladies in our church was like, oh, you can like borrow mine. She's like one of the mom, I don't know, she had a few kids, but she's like, yeah, you can like borrow my car. And I was like, okay, perfect, so we get all ready to go and we're talking, we're having a good time, we make it to Denver and I have like a lot of anxiety, yeah. And so when you get to Denver, like it's one-way streets everywhere and so, yeah, driving there, you could.

Speaker 2: 3:01

GPS doesn't Like, you just have to figure out how to. And she wanted to get this like iPad case or this like MacBook case. I'm like, how important is this?

Speaker 1: 3:09

Because, like I want the Virgin of.

Speaker 2: 3:10

Medjugorje to buy this like MacBook case. Yeah, so we finally make it whatever. And so she's like all right, like let's head back and I'm like have cell service in LaGrange. Like you don't, it doesn't, your phone doesn't work out there, right? So when I'm going to town I could use my phone, I could text people from like back home. I could call people.

Speaker 1: 3:30

So that's usually when I called my dad, so.

Speaker 2: 3:32

I called my dad and we're just like chit chatting and I'm just like catching up or whatever. And so we're, we're driving back and I missed something with the GPS. So, like we take, we end up going a different way and I think we're back in wyoming, but like we're in the wrong part and so I'm like, all right, dad, I gotta go.

Speaker 2: 3:47

Like it's starting to rain, it's getting stormy and like we've got to get back or whatever, and so he's like, okay, bye, and we probably have like 30 minutes left. So I realize, so my phone dies, okay, and something's wrong with her phone, like it's starting to get into the sticks or there's just no service yeah, and everything looks the same in Wyoming yeah, and so she's like, oh yeah, like I used to I used to go and do like bible studies in this town or whatever like we're gonna, we're about to hit that area.

Speaker 2: 4:13

So we're like, have a, we're check gas. We have like a quarter tank of gas left, like we're fine. She's like we'll gas up there. Like it's this little city right, and so she knows the pastor there that like had a church there or something. These are like small, small towns, yeah, and so she, okay, so we're like almost out of gas and we finally get to the city. I'm like, thank goodness, like we have a little bit less, like maybe 40 miles or something. We pull up to the gas station. It is not a gas station. They're like, oh, the gas station got blown up like three months ago. Someone set it on fire and it like exploded. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, what are we gonna do? Because, like this isn't our car, it's starting to storm, we're in the middle of nowhere, my phone is dead, our phones do not work right. And she's like, well, I know the pass to get back to like our school. Like you had to go through a mountain pass to get back to our school, which is terrifying.

Speaker 2: 4:57

Yes, but it's starting to storm. So she's like we'll meet up with the pastor and like see if we can like maybe stay overnight, right. So she's like we meet up with him and like he has a whole family if we could stay with you. He doesn't offer for us to stay with him at all, nothing. He's kind of like well, it's good seeing you guys. We're just kind of like oh my gosh, like you're gonna make us go through this mountain pass. I don't know anything about it, right. So I'm just like I'm freaking out, I'm about to freak out. So we start. Okay, so we start driving.

Speaker 2: 5:24

We're away from the church and um this is a very modest church like this, like there is no tank top, it's as strict as Mormons are with clothes so it's like so I think I had like a. I had a long sleeve on and then I had like a tank top and underneath tank top and I was like the window was fogging up and the ladies her like defrosters didn't work and her windshield wipers were old, oh no, so it's starting to get super frosty and I'm like what?

Speaker 1: 5:48

do I do? That's so dangerous I'm going to pour some water on it, so I took off my long sleeve.

Speaker 2: 5:52

And the girl next to me was a fennec. She was like oh, you only have an undershirt on or something. You're like do you want to die on it? Warm water, thinking it was gonna fix it.

Speaker 2: 6:02

No, it didn't it iced it over, it made it worse.

Speaker 2: 6:04

Yeah, so we're just, we're starting to drive and I'm like she's gonna see my ugly side of my anxiety because this is so scary for me and yeah, um, and she's like I was like all right, let's just get on the path, like we're gonna have to figure this out, right.

Speaker 2: 6:16

So about 10 minutes in, she's like just trying to be like very I think she was trying to be encouraging godly, like with god, like being like it's gonna be okay, like, and I'm like just now it's not the time, like now it's not the time to talk about Jesus. I'm so sorry that sounds, you're so raw, but I'm like can we just get through this and then we can just go back to like our normal selves? Like this is really hard for me. So, anyways, we could not see I'm talking a foot in front of us Like it was pouring snow and that's a two way pass and it's really small when it looks like it should only be one word one road, and so it keeps, we keep going, we keep going, and it gets to the point where I'm like there's nothing I can do, that we can't stop on this pass Cause there's nothing here.

Speaker 2: 6:58

We're almost out of gas. We have no phone service. No phone service, right, like we're pretty close, we think we're pretty close to the school. We just have to get through this pay, this path. And I remember praying, like just stopping, because I'm like we're driving so slow, we're trying to see in front of us, we cannot see anything. So I slow down and I'm just like if you, just like god, if you just get us through, like this little piece, like like I don't know what I'm gonna do for you, but like we'll do something, I just need you to get me here. Like I want to have a family, I want to one one day get married, like I want to have a future and yeah.

Speaker 2: 7:28

I feel like I'm gonna die right here and I'm like 18, like I haven't even graduated high school yet, because I went to college before I graduated and it. So it brought me to this point where I was like my hands are completely tied and there's nothing I can absolutely do right now and I just have have to trust him. There was nothing. There was nothing other than just to trust him.

Speaker 1: 7:46

Right.

Speaker 2: 7:46

And so I'm like let's just stop right here and just pray and hopefully there's not a car coming another way, Cause it's such a small lane and we're just like, please get us through this. And it's crazy, cause this story came up to me with Peter walking on water. Like he's looking at his feet. He's looking at his feet and he's starting to sink.

Speaker 2: 8:02

And Jesus is like look at me like look at me and I'm going to get you to me and I just I can get chills talking about this, like I just remember him, like I just heard it in my head, like just look at me, look at me, look at me, stop looking at your feet, your feet or your anxiety, and you're trying to control the situation that only I can fix and only I can get you there and somehow, like the storms calmed, like it slowed down to where we could see like feet above us we finally got back into town and I like gone, I like got out of the car and I was like on my hands and knees be like, oh my gosh, we made it like solid ground.

Speaker 2: 8:37

Yes, and I remember we had this cute little snack shack, like this one guy, joey, worked in there and I went in there and he's like what's wrong?

Speaker 2: 8:44

with you and I was like we almost just like died in this past, like and he's like you have that little of faith that you thought that jesus wouldn't get you back here. And I was like at first I was so offended, yeah, I was like, oh my gosh, he's right like I doubted christ so much in that experience that I just was like we're gonna, like I just came to the idea we're going to die instead of praying. Why?

Speaker 2: 9:06

You know, Right, and that really stuck out to me, like like our feet hurt, our anxiety sometimes, and we're looking down and he wants us to just look at him, like just trust me, just trust me, I'm going to get you through this. And I need you to go through this experience for you to trust me. Yeah, and ever since, that's really stuck out to me that like a lot of the times I want to control things, but it doesn't always work that way, and so that was like a big part of my testimony was just like look at me just look at me and right.

Speaker 2: 9:34

there's a lot of situations, of course, like I talked to, with andrew being the marine corps, that, like I, don't have any other direction to look and my anxiety can take over so fast when, right, andrew's in the middle of the East and I can't talk to him and you're just thinking of the worst that's happening and you see all of the news articles and you're like what's happening?

Speaker 1: 9:49

Where is my husband? I'm going to be a single mom forever. Yes.

Speaker 2: 9:52

And he's on his job. He's a machine gunner. He's on the boat protecting it. People are you know, the enemy is taunting him and they're trying to get him. I can't talk to him for such a long time and I'm over here like I'm here seeing news articles, but I can't talk to you Like, are you OK? I sure hope, and then, I have all these thoughts running through my mind, like I can't have.

Speaker 2: 10:11

I cannot take care of these kids without you. Like I need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you, and you know all those thoughts. And then it's just, you know calling the store, and I remember one specific time. I during the middle of Andrew's deployment. I was just so defeated like we can't ever talk and this is such a scary time and I remember sitting on the stairs like just like mid-verge, of just losing it and like as a breakdown, and I remember Jason he was only two, but he walked up and put his hand on my shoulder and was like mom, you okay.

Speaker 2: 10:40

And I was like my heart, like I'm, like, yeah, like I'm, I forget that, like kids are so sensitive, like they just know, they just know and right, you know. Again, keeping my eyes on Jesus during that time, like it's just like we're gonna get through this, even though it doesn't feel like it and it lasts eternity time, you know, and go so slow during that time, yeah, um, but yeah. So that was an experience that will probably stick with me forever, and I don't ever let my gas tank go a quarter tank below anyone.

Speaker 1: 11:08

No, I would say in a way, because, who knows?

Speaker 2: 11:10

what's going to happen when you get to that? Gas station, if it's going to be blown up or not.

Speaker 1: 11:15

And that's the story you're going to tell your kids too, when you're a little old lady. You're like back in my day this is what happened, why you gotta keep your gas tank so high why does this car always have full of gas? Dang, so that's. That's like a really intense story and do you feel like?

Speaker 1: 11:36

I think, at least for me, something that I've been pondering on a lot is, when we have these really kind of intense experiences, why do we let ourselves forget them or not necessarily forget them, but like why can't we just keep the faith? Why can't we just keep looking Like I don't know? Is that something? Have you thought about that? Or have you thought about I don't know, why do I not look?

Speaker 1: 12:05

Why do I not Even though I've had this giant experience, because I feel like, for me, I have had certain experiences like that, where it was literally the hand of God, and sometimes I still sit here going why, like? Why do you? Are you there? Why are you listening, do you even?

Speaker 2: 12:20

care, you know yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:26

So how do you, having such like a contrasting experience or like a big experience, how are you able to, I don't know not let yourself get swallowed back into that anxiety and keep looking Like how do you?

Speaker 2: 12:35

I mean, I still think I do when it comes to a point where, like my, for my anxiety, I've done every remedy, I've done everything I can to calm myself and it's not working it's like there's only one less thing to do is to pray and, just right, he sees your struggles, he sometimes it feels like it doesn't, though, because I'm like I'm in the middle of an anxiety attack and I'm like I feel like I'm gonna die and I can't breathe and like where are you?

Speaker 1: 12:57

why are?

Speaker 2: 12:58

you letting me suffer like this? This is so miserable and it seems like since I turned 20, it feels that way.

Speaker 1: 13:03

I.

Speaker 2: 13:05

I wish I had the answer for you, but yeah, I, I just think you're gonna get, you'll eventually get to the logic part of the anxiety. Okay, we need to pray. There's not. There's not anything left to do, and I wish I could tell you that that was the first thing I thought of was like you know, are you listening to me? Are you you're watching me? Like I feel like you're watching me suffer and it's, it's so intense and you know how anxiety attacks are and it's just it's so miserable. But you know I could tell you that there's so many people that I can relate with and have empathy with those experiences you know, like no one that has.

Speaker 2: 13:40

You know, there's not a person that has anxiety, that wants to talk to someone that's never had anxiety yeah. I'm not gonna sit and try to tell you my struggle when you don't get it right so it's like experiences like that, it's like during. I mean, obviously I learned a lot from that experience and you know, being able to I mean prevent myself from being that position but like also being like hey, sometimes our hands are tied and we need Jesus a lot of people, people in this world just need Jesus.

Speaker 2: 14:04

There is no other way out. Right, right, I think, just trying to. Yeah, I wish I could tell you that it was the first thing I thought of. Yeah, but it usually is the last thing for sure.

Speaker 1: 14:14

And you know what I think. As long as you get to that point, I think that's all he cares about Exactly.

Speaker 2: 14:25

He doesn't need to take 30 minutes to spray to me oh, what's wrong with us?

Speaker 1: 14:34

we need jesus we all need jesus. That's how I feel. I feel like I don't know. Even recently, I feel like I've just had such really intense emotions and I feel like it is so hard, when you're feeling these intense emotions, to to reach out to him and to look for him because it's like.

Speaker 1: 14:54

It's like the intense emotions like they cover my eyes and they cover my heart and I literally was thinking about it because, I don't know, things have just been really rough and I've been so angry. I'm not normally like a super angry person, but I feel like recently I've just had so much anger and just so much rage towards my kids, my spouse, like lots of random things, and I literally was. So. I read President Nelson's talk that he gave like two years ago about being a peacemaker and that kind of you know, it gave me a lot of really good things to think about, um, and but then the other day I was sitting there and I was like, oh my gosh, I think this is what it feels like when your heart is hard and like when you, when you're not allowing the spirit in. But how do you? But it's not like I even really noticed it happening.

Speaker 1: 15:41

You know, I feel like it just with one thing after the other, after the other, and then with all these intense emotions, it just kind of I just found myself in that situation and I feel like it's been so hard because I'll sit and I'll like read my scriptures and I'll be like, please, I really want this to make me feel better, and then it doesn't, and I'm like, oh, okay, well, I guess I'll try again, and that makes me feel better than reading the scriptures or praying, you know. So I feel like I don't know. I think it is important for us to realize that that option is always there and that sometimes, even when we try that option try looking at the Savior we can still look, but we might not always feel the peace and we might not always feel the comfort and it's like trying to figure out okay, well, how do I feel the peace that, you know, the prophet talks about?

Speaker 1: 16:33

they always, I feel like a lot of the times they always talk about how you feel when you go to the temple. You'll feel so much peace. I don't usually feel peace at the temple like I feel peace other places, and so I so I feel like I'm having to learn how to look at him and still feel all of these emotions and not feel like a horrible person. At the same time, I feel like it's just like another layer of everything. Recently, I feel like I just I feel like a despicable human being because I'm so fortunate to have the gospel in my life, because I'm so fortunate to have the gospel in my life. But when I pray, or when I read my scriptures, or when I feel all these intense emotions, it's like, oh, come on, lily, aren't you better than this? You're turning to him, but you're not really turning to him. What kind of a disciple of Christ are you? And then it's like trying to pull yourself out of that spiral hole.

Speaker 2: 17:25

I think that can be like the devil talking to us too, or satan like being like hey, because he gets in my head. It's like in the perfect time to take advantage of what's in my head is when I'm already struggling and I'm already having a hard time, like right, and I get anxiety. It's like all these things of, probably, things that don't even matter, that he's like what about this? Like, what about that? Like no one likes you, no one likes to be around you, which is a big lie because I know there are people that do enjoy being around me and right, I am, you know.

Speaker 2: 17:51

But those, well, it's just those thoughts of like you know, like you know he gets in your head and it's like also, I think the times that we're in right now, life is so overwhelming you know, as a mother, it feels like my responsibility to make sure my kids are healthy and taken care of and that you know that my husband can come home from work and he can vent to me about his job or whatever.

Speaker 2: 18:14

Like I feel, like I have to be there for everybody all the time in my own family structure right, which eventually gives it's, you're burned out and you're burned out and I can't't show up the best Abigail for everybody when I'm spread so thin Right and then on top of that, satan's taking advantage of like hey, let's just like remind her in her head that like Right, you're not, like, you're not a good mom, you don't do this, you don't do this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like Right Over and over, and then you know, and then it's hard to get christ in the mix, but like I also think that christ just appreciates us trying.

Speaker 2: 18:51

And you know what, if at the end of the day, or the in the beginning, you know, in the morning, I can give you some of my time to pray and just even like I'm not the best at praying often, I can tell you I do my best to pray when it's time to eat, whenever, and teach my children yeah yeah, but it's like sometimes it's just praying and like the pickup line or like when I think about it, do it Because it's like Satan if he has a majority of your day to mess with your mind.

Speaker 2: 19:13

like, where does Christ fit into that? And like he doesn't want you to pray, he doesn't want to read your scripture. So it's like, even if you're not all the way there, or like you're just don't feel like you're showing up at the best that you can, at least you're showing up and it's maybe that you're spread so thin that you can't show up as great as you want to and you have a lot going on.

Speaker 2: 19:31

You know, right, we all have a lot going on, and it's just you know as long as we're doing it and you know as long as we show up. I think that's what's important. And sometimes the places we don't want to go like we don't want to take our kids to sacrament, or we don't want to like like today I think my brain has made every possible excuse to not make it here. Like I'm like what am I even gonna talk about? Like I have all these experiences but like I think I misunderstood a lot. I, my brain doesn't connect with my mouth to what I want to actually say. And then people are like is she just like talking a lot again, like shut up for the record you're totally crystal clear to me.

Speaker 2: 20:05

I'm just like talking 10 minutes in relief society like I hope some I feel like I'm like I'm saying what jesus needs me to say, but it's a lot of words, so hopefully you can condense it in your mind. Um, but yeah, so, but I also wanted to add to one of the reasons I, or one of the things I did want to talk about some. For some reason, we watched um, god's not dead it's an old movie, but they just uploaded to Netflix and I didn't realize that it was such a good movie.

Speaker 2: 20:29

Yeah, and um my aunt Kelly, she's like my, she's the one.

Speaker 2: 20:34

She's the one that helped me with, like, my conversion. She's, she helps me with all my anxiety. She's the one that's like you need to pray, you need to read. I'm like all right, okay, you're right, yeah and um, but she we were talking about God's Not Dead and the big I was like she's, like maybe it wasn't a coincidence that you like watched that and I was like you know, I don't think it was because I totally forgot that this was coming up. I knew it was coming.

Speaker 2: 20:53

I just didn't realize it was so soon. In a couple days we were. I was like we should watch this movie, right and um, he was talking. When he was talking to his mom with dementia he was talking about he was like, well, how come I have such a great life and, like you know, like you have problems or whatever Right, and it really put it into perspective. Like I feel like I've really suffered my entire life, like I really feel like I've struggled, I don't know why. Like it's just like things come at me left and right and it's like like I've just really struggled my entire life and I felt like once I got out of like my childhood home that just had a lot of like abuse and trauma, I thought things were going to be perfect and they haven't.

Speaker 1: 21:33

They haven't been like I was like once. I'm an adult.

Speaker 2: 21:35

I get out of the situation. I'm like I'm good no, and then all these things were like you got to learn this and this and this and this and this and this, and I'm like oh, my gosh Motherhood, everything on top of it.

Speaker 2: 21:46

And so it's like I finally put it into perspective for me that, like, like late satan tells, shows you a lie, gives you this perfect life, and then, when it's too late, the doors are closed right and I'm like, oh my gosh, I would rather go through all these problems and all these situations or whatever trials, right to be able to like follow christ, and satan wants to be a part of that all the time.

Speaker 2: 22:09

But it's like I'd rather go through all these things and see jesus there you know, instead of having this great life and like wow, you go through these trials, like for me you're going through maybe the suffering for me and it's to teach other people and right follow me, to look at me, to trust me because I've been there's so many things that I'm like and there's a lot of people that talk about. Um, this was a big point I was kind of thinking about on the way here too, sorry.

Speaker 1: 22:34

I go. No, you're in here with my ADHD.

Speaker 2: 22:36

But, um, a lot of people talk about like an experience they had that they walk away from Christ and, um, I've had a few of those experiences. I was like, okay, like I had this thought where I was like, how could you ever walk? What's, what's so bad that you walk away from Christ? And a big point in that was God was dead, was the atheist professor that he lost his mom to cancer and there was nothing that he could do about it right and he really hated God for that.

Speaker 2: 23:03

And you know there's been a few situations that, um, just like with Andrew being in the military, that I'm like why, like, why are you? Like I'm not cut out for this man, like I can be so supportive, but like, in this sense, it's like I never see my husband, and then he deploys, and he comes back and we don't get an adjustment period, and then he deploys again and then we come back and then we decide to have another baby. Like I just don't get a break.

Speaker 1: 23:27

Yep.

Speaker 2: 23:28

And it was like there's so many situations that it's like, yeah, I could turn my back on him. I could, but I'm not going to because, in all in all, he's always been there and he will always be there. Right, I could definitely have a better relationship with him. I'm learning to have my own relationship with them and be, able to pray and talk about my day with him.

Speaker 2: 23:47

Yeah, and yeah it's like I think there's a lot of situations that people are so angry with God, and but you have to understand that we have free agency. For a reason we get to choose those things and sometimes choices have consequences. Sometimes we go through trials to learn and they're awful trials. They're so bad and I'm like, why am I suffering? I don't feel like I deserve this, like right. But then I see years down the road, after I've been through so much therapy, through certain situations, that I'm like right, I can, like advocate for women, I can help people that have suffered through these types of trials right, and like I can be there for them and I can, you know, give suggestions to how to heal. And like you know and right.

Speaker 1: 24:27

I love how you bring up that. Because I go through these trials, I'm able to sit with those who are going through them and truly empathize with them and be a physical, tangible, somebody that the Lord can put into someone's life, to act as that figure. And then you can even say, hey, let's look to Christ, and you can point them in that direction too, which I think is is really powerful.

Speaker 2: 24:51

So, yeah, I and off of that, I've felt in my life that I've gone through trials to like help people. Yeah, and actually I sat down and read my patriarchal blessing for the first time again in a really really long time.

Speaker 1: 25:03

I kind of put it away and I was just like kind of like this doesn't make sense.

Speaker 2: 25:06

Or I got it when I was so. I got converted at 20, yeah, got my patriarchal blessing, and then I was just kind of like, okay, like this is so vague, yeah, so vague and the and the guy that did it. I'm like he's so old, does he even know what he's talking about?

Speaker 1: 25:18

Like what is this?

Speaker 2: 25:19

Like this is like a bunch of words of and and it's and like if it felt like yeah, and then I just like how this thought to like I was like my husband's, like let's pull out mine, let's pull out yours out of the safe.

Speaker 2: 25:34

And like I'm a mother of Israel, like I'm a mother for other people, and I felt like I've always been so motherly growing up yes, just in general with a lot of people and it's like okay. So that tells me like, and I think when I read it a little while ago, a couple weeks ago, I cried because I was like, oh my gosh, like to be a mother in Israel. That is so like powerful and important, like I'm so important.

Speaker 2: 25:59

And even though I don't feel that way a lot of the time, I am so important and to have those motherly qualities and to like help others and be be helpful and help people through trials and all those type of things. Like what a blessing and like what a gift.

Speaker 2: 26:12

There's not anything else. I would want more than that and I hope that with time that I can really nurture that gift and I think, as time goes on and I'm not so needed by, like the responsibilities of my life, I can serve others and help others how I want and just understanding that Christ sees me like you're a mother of Israel and like you're here to mother, like, nurture others and be there for people. And I think all my life people have always been like you're here to mother, like, nurture others and be there for people.

Speaker 1: 26:38

And I think all my life people have always been like you're such a mom, Like that's a bad thing, Like you know, but it's only because I care and you know, if I can be there for other people, I will.

Speaker 2: 26:47

And the trials I go through, they're relatable and like like you know, I'm very raw, I'm real, I'll tell you how I feel. I I feel I'll tell you my experiences. I don't have shame behind my experiences.

Speaker 1: 27:01

They're just, they are what they are and if I can share with you or relate to someone, I will. I'll share it with you because I don't want you to feel alone.

Speaker 2: 27:03

You know right well, and that's what I love, suffering alone, is there's no like awful worst thing suffering alone and just being alone and not feeling yeah, not feeling like someone gets it right, because if he can isolate us, then we're stuck. He can put on as much as he wants. Yeah, yeah, we're completely stuck.

Speaker 1: 27:18

I think the trick is how do you not let yourself get isolated in the first place?

Speaker 2: 27:23

I mean, I think it all starts with fellowship and just us simply showing up to church, to just get those bonds and those relationships Right.

Speaker 2: 27:33

I actually a little side note I did some studying on um, I have, like, an eating disorder. I have a really big problem with binge eating. Yeah and um, I was kind of doing some studying and this guy did. This study was, like other countries are so family oriented and we're not. You know, um, they shared these simple things, like in italy, when, like, families eat, they all gather to eat as a family and everybody's greeting each other and there's all these endorphins being let off by everybody giving hugs and talking and as they're talking, they're eating, which is we're making their digestive system work, and they're able to have like body cues when we're done eating and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2: 28:10

In America we just sit down and we eat. We just eat and we're stressed out, which aren't.

Speaker 2: 28:14

That means our digestive system's not working and we're overwhelmed and stressed, and so it's like all these components and then you know, but it's just such an interesting fact that, like we need human connection, yes, and unfortunately, covid really damaged that, and I think there's some truth behind why that happened. It was like they don't want us, like just over. Satan doesn't want us combined. They don't want us to be united, satan doesn't want us combined. They don't want us to be united because united means power. Yeah, and especially when you know satan can weaken mothers, we're the, we're the bridge that you know, we're kind of the backbone of society yes, we are like, men are super important too, but women like do a lot we're creating and we're we're teaching our kids like.

Speaker 2: 28:56

Our job, solely as you know, as mothers, is to nurture and teach our children like who jesus is right, you know. And so when we have that type of role and if that can be damaged by satan and being taken that away, the family unit gets destroyed because we're bridging that gap between our spouse and our children and we're just that middle piece it's we're so important for both sides that if he can damage us, yeah, he can ruin the entire family unit.

Speaker 2: 29:20

So when we don't have that connection and we're isolated already isolated as mothers, because, right as we talked about, you know, the book that I mentioned I forgot what it's called, but um, it just, you know, talked so much about how important mothers are and like how they keep literally everything together, like it's our job to do that.

Speaker 2: 29:37

So when we isolate ourselves or we get isolated, satan gets in our minds and like the smallest thing we can do is just to show up to church for fellowship, and then I mean god created eve for adam. For companionship we need others we need fellowship, we need connection right?

Speaker 1: 29:51

no, we're human, we need connection right and I feel like as we do that, as we connect together, I feel like we are then able to better find Christ among us and in the midst of us and being able to turn to look at him more easily when we are connected and casually but confidently sharing our testimonies and just these small experiences.

Speaker 1: 30:15

It doesn't have to be a gigantic general conference talk or a talk you give in sacrament meeting. It literally just like I almost died in a canyon and a gas station blew up, but I prayed and, jesus, let me get back right like that that legitimately.

Speaker 2: 30:29

Honestly, it's a lot more and I got humbled about how much how much?

Speaker 1: 30:32

faith I have at the worst time and it's fun, right.

Speaker 2: 30:37

And it's fun right Like this.

Speaker 1: 30:38

This is, this is where the connection grows, and so thank you so much for just, you know, being willing to be open and be vulnerable and and talk frankly about a lot of these things, and I cause it's needed.

Speaker 2: 30:50

Yeah, so Well thank you for having me. I didn't feel worthy to come do this but, like hey, sometimes I have some things that people need to know. Or me, I didn't feel worthy to come do this, but my case, sometimes I have some things that people need to know, or hear.

Speaker 1: 30:59

I've absolutely loved all of the things that you've had to say, and I feel like everything that you've said has been insanely relevant to my life, and so thank you so much for coming. This has been a really great experience and I hope we get to catch up again. We will.

Speaker 2: 31:13

And I'll bring you some bread. Oh yes, please, you got it.

Speaker 1: 31:14

I hope we get to catch up again another time we will, and I'll bring you some bread.

Speaker 2: 31:16

Oh, yes, please, you got it.

Speaker 1: 31:18

Thanks again for tuning in to More Than Coincidence, Remembering Jesus Christ in your Story. Please follow us on social media or share us with a friend. If you have an experience you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhim at gmailcom. I can't wait to hear all of the amazing memories you all have of our Savior. See you next time.