More than Coincidence: Remembering Jesus Christ in Your Story

The "C" Is For Christ with Jennifer R.

September 01, 2024 • Lily • Season 1 • Episode 43

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Can a life-altering diagnosis at 14 lead to unwavering faith and miraculous moments? Join us as we sit down with Jennifer, an extraordinary early intervention specialist from Utah, who candidly shares her journey of discovering she has MRKH syndrome—a rare condition leaving her without a uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix. Listen as Jennifer recounts the emotional devastation and solace she found in her faith, painting a vivid picture of her youth and the painful realization she would never bear her own children.

In the throes of medical adversity, Jennifer experienced profound spiritual growth. She takes us through the harrowing details of a complex surgery and the excruciating recovery, where her faith became her strongest ally. Hear about the miraculous turn of events that saw her transferred to a renowned hospital and the comfort she found in a simple picture of Christ. Jennifer’s narrative is a testament to the power of faith in the face of suffering, highlighting her mother's unwavering support and the unexpected blessings that stemmed from her trials.

Feel the transformative power of forgiveness and the atonement as Jennifer opens up about breaking free from a toxic relationship, finding love, and the emotional journey to adopt her daughter, Jeach. Discover the healing process she underwent through prayer, faith, and a revelatory dream that affirmed her future motherhood. Jennifer’s heartfelt story of finally becoming a wife and mother showcases the boundless hope and faith that carried her through years of waiting and longing. This episode is a powerful reminder of the strength found in faith, the miracles of adoption, and the ultimate liberation that comes from knowing one's worth as a child of God.

Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

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**Transcripts available on website!

Lily:

Hello everyone and welcome to, more Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your Story. As the author and finisher of our faith, our Savior writes personal experiences into each of our lives which can later strengthen, empower and bring us peace upon reflection. This podcast is dedicated to sharing these anchoring memories from everyone's unique stories in order to collectively remember and testify of the reality of Jesus Christ and his presence in our lives. I'm your host, lily, and I'm very excited to share these experiences together.

Jennifer:

Good evening everybody. Tonight on the podcast we have Jennifer. How are you doing Good, thank you. How are you Fantastic? Would you mind introducing yourself for everyone?

Speaker 3:

Yes, my name is Jennifer and I am 40 years old. I live in Utah. I am originally from California. I served a mission out here in Utah and then came back to live here and that's where I met my husband. Uh, we've been married for 16 years to David. He had a podcast recently with um with Lily, and then we have a 12 year old daughter. She is our miracle baby. She's adopted, so we just are enjoying her, and I work in early intervention. I, I work with little children that are delayed in their development and I, yeah, all the cute little kids, yes, I love it.

Jennifer:

Well, that's really awesome. Thank you for you know introducing yourself, so I'll just ask you the question, jennifer, what memories do you have that you reflect on, that prick your heart in remembrance of our Savior Jesus Christ, and anchor you to him?

Speaker 3:

That's a great question, let's see. Well, first of all, I am the youngest of eight children and my mom raised six of us. So two were from my dad's previous marriage, but my mom has six. So my mom was a single mom of six kids pretty much my whole life. Wow, yeah, and just the fact that God always provided for us, we always I mean, it was tight right and we didn't have like excess.

Lily:

But we always had enough.

Speaker 3:

We always had enough and just, I mean, I could go into stories about my mom paying her tithing and the miracles that would happen, and you know all of that, but that's not really the focus that I feel led to talk about today. Um, what I feel led to talk about today is that, um, when I was 13 years old, I didn't start my menstruation like all my friends did, right, and um, I started getting really curious as to what could be, what could be wrong, right, and so my mom finally took, like the spirit was really with me, telling me that something was off with my body. Something was off with my body. My mom was finally. My mom worked really hard. She was finally able to take me into the clinic.

Speaker 3:

And it was just like a little Medicaid clinic or something, and the doctor freaked out and she said she kind of checked me out down there and she said you seem to have something that I've only seen in medical school. So she referred us up to a bigger hospital seen in medical school. So she referred us up to a bigger hospital. And it turns out I mean after years like I think two years of like, like testing and MRIs and just lots of visits, they finally came to the conclusion that I have a rare syndrome called MRKH syndrome. It's very rare, it's actually one in 5,000, which is probably not that rare compared to some other syndromes. Yeah, I was going to say it's still very, very unknown, like I think in my whole life there the doctor that helped me out is the one doctor that really knows about. Okay, maybe the one in the clinic and then the one that helped me out. Yeah, so it's. It's kind of lonely in that way. People don't know about it, doctors don't know about it, they don't know how to handle it.

Lily:

Wow.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So here I was, this kid that always wanted to have a big family. I was that little girl that dreamed of having five, five or seven, 10 kids, you know, right and um, after all the testing and so forth, I remember the day my mom and I went into the doctor's office and they had results for us, and we were sitting down and the doctor had this diagram and he was showing me what a woman's reproductive system should look like, right, and he was telling me what I don't have. So, basically, I was born without a uterus, without fallopian tubes, without a cervix, um, and I only have ovaries. What, uh-huh, uh-huh, wow, okay, and you were 13 when you heard this. 13, yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. By this point I was 15. No, it was my freshman year of high school, so I guess I was 14. So I think the whole process started around 12 and then I finally found out at 14.

Jennifer:

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it was a very shocking moment for me. And then, in addition to that, they let me know that, um, externally, like in my vaginal, everything looked fine externally but um, there, I wouldn't be able to like have a healthy marriage, basically, unless they were to do surgery at some point in my life. So I'll spare you, guys, all the details you can look it up on. Google. But I basically would have to have like vaginoplasty as well.

Jennifer:

Right.

Speaker 3:

My breast didn't develop properly.

Jennifer:

A lot of interventions.

Speaker 3:

Yes, and so I, um, I remember that day very well and I, I asked the doctor if I could be excused. The hardest part was that he looked at me. I didn't really know what he was saying, but I know that he looked at me and said, jennifer, you will never be able to bear your own children. I was crushed. I was so crushed. I asked to be excused. I stood up in my little, my little adolescent self, and I went into the bathroom and I kneeled down at the toilet. I remember very well, I asked, heavenly father, please help me, because I knew that my life was going to be a harder journey than I had imagined and it wasn't going to look like what I had imagined it to look like. And that's a hard pill to swallow. And then, on top of that, here I was going into high school with all the adolescent things and having to kind of keep this a secret and know who I could tell and who I couldn't tell, so that I wouldn't be made fun of, right, right. So on the way home that day, my sweet mom, you know, she looked over at me and asked me how I was feeling. And I, I, I was mad, and I looked at her and I was like, how could heavenly father do this to me? Yeah, like he, there are people having babies and throwing them in trash cans, right and. And abort, you know, aborting them and all these different things, that I want them and I can't have them, right.

Speaker 3:

And uh, that was a really hard moment for me. And then she turned to me and she said you agreed to this. And I was like what are you talking about? No, I didn't. And she said before you came to this earth, heavenly father told you what your plan would be. Yeah, and he told you what you would go through. And you said yes, father, I will go Right. And honestly, lily, that was the last moment I was ever upset with him about it. It was just that moment and it was over. Wow, because I knew. I knew what my mom was saying was true and I felt the spirit when she said it. And so, just from that moment on, was this journey of navigating adolescence, and what will my life look like and will anyone ever love me? And I can't even give them children, and when will my surgery be, and just all the unknowns, right? So, with the Lord's help, I did my best to just soldier forth and, you know, try to enjoy high school and honestly I really did. I was a cheerleader.

Speaker 3:

I was an actress in the plays. I mean I had a blast. I was, I really did. I was a cheerleader, I was an actress in the plays. I mean I had a blast. I was, I really had a blast. I had really good friends. And then the time came where I was 17, graduating high school, and my mom found out that I could have the surgery at 17, right before I turned 18. And it would be free because she had low income, yeah. And so the government was going to help us out and cover it. So we decided that would be the best thing for me, right? And this is where I really I think my my relationship with my savior really started to get stronger, because, um, so I graduated high school and then I had my surgery and I couldn't have imagined what kind of pain I would be in.

Jennifer:

I can't even fathom it, girl. That area is already so sensitive and so everything like I can't even fathom what recovery would be like. You can't even walk. You can't go into the bathroom. No, like you can't. You probably couldn't wear pants for forever just because of like the rubbage. Like you always wear dresses like I can't. You probably couldn't wear pants for forever just because of like the rubbage. Like you'd have to always wear dresses, Like I can't even fathom. I can't even fathom yeah.

Speaker 3:

And I'm just going to be super real. You know, I'm just going to be super real with people and I hope it's not too much. But um, I had my surgery and I remember waking up. Basically, what they had to do was separate my rectum and my bladder and create a man-made canal yeah. And they took skin from my buttocks to wrap around a stent like a blow up stent, and they and I used to be really shy about all this, but now I just think everyone should know, yeah, I don't want to live in loneliness, right, and neither do other people with the syndrome, right?

Speaker 3:

So they took a blow up stent and they wrapped my skin around it and put it in the man-made canal and then they closed my labia for two weeks. So I had to lay in a bed without touching the floor, without going to the bathroom, without anything, for two weeks and um, I remember, when I woke up from the surgery, I was immediately in excruciating pain and I screamed. I screamed out so loud because I could feel all the pain, yeah, and um, my best friend, shanna, was there and my mom was there. And um, I got morphine pump, which really helped me through.

Speaker 3:

Thank heavens for morphine, oh it was such a big help, yeah, but then everybody had to go back to work, you know, and go back to life.

Jennifer:

And so were you just in the hospital for the two weeks then yeah, I was at Loma.

Speaker 3:

Linda, loma Linda. I had a wonderful doctor. I don't know if I can say his name, so I won't, but he was a wonderful man. He had already done like 24 of my surgeries. And let me tell you, let me tell you, this cool miracle hospital we were sent to it was the county hospital. It was like a poor hospital like a poor hospital right and my mom and I were in a room and the doctor was talking to me and then he went out in the hallway and talked to his nurses and we could hear him because the walls were paper thin.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, he. So he said he was making fun of me, basically. And he came back in the room and my mom said oh, you think that we didn't hear you? I heard you. Your mom's awesome, she is awesome. She always advocated for us. Yes, so she, we marched right up to the front desk and she told them what he said. Yeah, he got his license revoked for how, I don't know however long, because he was saying some really awful things, right, and they sent us for free, bumped us up to Loma Linda, which is like the hospital in the world where people send their children from all over the world, right, right, world renowned. So because of his, because of that awful situation with the doctor, that doctor, I got sent to a doctor who had done 24 of these surgeries previously.

Jennifer:

Yeah, so he knew what he was doing. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3:

I know that's incredible. Yes, that was one of the amazing miracles along the way, um. But you know, after my surgery I'm in the hospital and my mom had to go back to work. She would come every night and bring me a treat and sit by my side, and I love that I had some people pop in in the evenings after work, but during the days it was just myself and the Savior and my relief. I think it was my young women, or the Relief Society president brought me this picture of Christ. If the people could see it I would show you. But it's on my bedside. It's in a silver frame which is now all tarnished because it's been like you know well, love, it's been a while yeah.

Speaker 3:

I 23 years, I had the surgery done in 2001. Um, and I would look. I would look at that picture and it was as if the spirit was saying to me he's been there, he knows what you've been through, yeah, he's with you and everything's going to be okay. And I just held on to that faith and that's where I really came to know my savior was in that dark, lonely hospital room, because when we suffer is when we come to know him more hospital room, because when we suffer is when we come to know him more. It's just how it is and it's sad that in life we have suffering, right, but that's honestly. Those are the times when we come to know him more, because he suffered all things.

Jennifer:

Yeah exactly Well, and I think sometimes it's not even just necessarily maybe the faith, but the hope I feel like. As a teenager I kind of had like shaky faith.

Jennifer:

I just kind of did the things I was supposed to do, I went to church and stuff, but I didn't really like super believe until I was put into a situation like some not as intense as yours, but my own situation where I did have to say whoa, I am literally by myself and I just all I have is this hope that all these things that my parents have taught me, or that everything that I've learned in the gospel is true, and to have this hope that he is there and that he'll be there with me.

Jennifer:

Right and I think that as I extended my hand and said, please, god, help me, I need you. He was there, and then I was able to feel the spirit and start that conversion of and having those, though, having those little experiences where I've been able to reach out, feel the spirit and know that, okay, I'm not alone. You might not physically be here, but I know that you're there, because I felt your spirit right.

Speaker 3:

I felt the Holy Ghost testify to me that you're there, right? Yes, absolutely, thank you for sharing that. Um, yeah, so that was kind of the start of I. I, my mom, raised us in the church. She took us to church every Sunday. You know, she did her best on her own to instill the gospel in us and she did such a wonderful job on her own to instill the gospel in us and she did such a wonderful job Right. However, I still needed to. I always knew Christ was my savior, but I just didn't have that closeness with him as I started to gain during this experience. And there's there's more to the story. So then, after, after that, right after I went home and started kind of trying to navigate life, I had to use a stent until I got married to keep myself open for when I'm married, and that was always kind of degrading and uncomfortable. Yeah, especially when I went on my mission, I had to explain to every companion like I was gonna say yeah, like how would that?

Jennifer:

even I don't even know yeah.

Speaker 3:

I would say like I'm not, the mission knows about this, I'm not being like bad, I'm just laying here, I have to do this. Right, it was totally medical, um, and but yeah, I mean, even throughout high school there would be rumors about me and I just had to do my best to kind of deflect them and it just it was just so uncomfortable, right. But again, I knew the Savior had been through similar things, so that was helpful, that he was there for me always. So shortly after that experience, I mean, my worth was pretty shot, my, my self-worth was pretty low and I really didn't think a man could ever love someone like me, you know, and not nonetheless, a man of God who holds the Holy priesthood, like that was just out of the question in my mind. So I met someone who had been pursuing me pretty heavily and I, um, he didn't believe in God. I'm sure he, you know he was a good person, but at that time he was having growth too. You know he was learning and growing too.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and um, I fell in love, and I fell in love really hard and um started to make some decisions that I am not proud of, and although I still went to church I was. I felt very ashamed every Sunday knowing that I had done things and was doing things that were not worthy of like a temple marriage or just I just didn't feel worthy. I just felt so sinful and shameful and dark. And that went on for like two years and at the year mark I broke up with him because I wanted to get married in the temple and I tried to do the whole, forcing him to take the lessons and forcing him to go to church, and I learned, that's not how you do it, but because I didn't have self-worth.

Speaker 3:

I mean, self-esteem and self-worth are two different things. Exactly, I really didn't have either Right, and even though you're told, you know throughout your life that you're a daughter of God, you really have to believe it.

Jennifer:

Right, exactly when it doesn't help that the world is literally constantly putting like a woman's value on her sex appeal and on her body, and then in the church it's, you know, culturally for a long time it was, you know, yeah, yeah, mary and children, and so for you, you're just kind of like, well, I kind of can't, like I just I don't know what to do with it.

Jennifer:

Right, like you, you're just kind of in this position where you really everything that, either the gospel or, well, culturally, the gospel right, not the actual gospel in jesus christ, but like the culture and the world, say, is where you get your worth from. You're like, well, I literally kind of I literally don't fit that mold like I, like I can't even imagine like it it 100 makes sense why you would feel so just alone and just completely different and isolated like that. 100% makes sense. Thank you for validating that I appreciate that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it was. It was quite lonely at times, um so, just yeah, I was in this relationship and I wanted to be doing something differently. Yeah, so I asked Heavenly Father to please help me and I told him I really wanted to be married in the temple and I really wanted to have the life that I had dreamed of, with a priesthood holder that loved me and perhaps adopted children. I still didn't know any of that, although my patriarchal blessing when I was 16 did say that my husband and I would stand at the head of our posterity. Yay, did that give you comfort?

Lily:

head of our posterity. Yay, did that give you comfort?

Speaker 3:

Oh, so much. Yeah, it did give me so much comfort, and also in my patriarchal blessing it mentioned that I should find a man who was willing and able to take me to the house of the Lord to be sealed for time and all eternity.

Speaker 3:

Right and this man that I was in love with was neither willing nor able Right, despite all of my efforts. And so, even though I was still so in love with him, I broke up with him and went through about four years of like, daily crying, and it was like coming off of a drug kind of His and my relationship was was toxic and not healthy and and sinful and oh, so yeah, so it was definitely On top of the love there was, like these chains that Satan wrapped around us.

Speaker 3:

And so it was coming out of all of that.

Jennifer:

So it was like a literal, like drug withdrawal, then too maybe.

Speaker 3:

There really was. But I asked the Lord to never leave me and even though I would break up and get back together and break up and get back together, however many times I asked him to please never leave me, to not let me, to, not let me do that. And he, the Savior, stood by my side and he just thought, I mean, he just let me know, I have something planned for you. I mean, he just let me know, I have something planned for you, I have something planned for you. You don't have to think that you're not going to have these blessings just because of your syndrome, you know. And so he never left my side and eventually I was able to finally get out of that, which is a whole nother podcast, honestly, like fasting and praying and sending me a friend to get me, like to help me along my way.

Jennifer:

And yeah literal divine intervention he was like you've been asking and I'm a deliver you right now. Here we go, he delivered me.

Speaker 3:

I love that you said that he is my deliverer. He delivered me out of hell. That was a hell that I put myself in Right, and so I got myself. All you know well, I didn't get myself. The Lord helped me repent and I was able to learn about the atonement and exercise the atonement Right. And I remember sitting in the bishop's office and he looked at me and said the Lord forgives you. It's time for you to forgive yourself. Right, which is the hardest part. Agreed Right, which is the hardest part. Agreed Right, how could I? How could I? Anywho? No, I think it is the hardest part because, at least at least for me.

Jennifer:

It's like when I sin a lot of the time it's that I consciously chose that sin.

Jennifer:

Yes so how can he forgive me when I was consciously doing things that I knew he wouldn't, that God wouldn't approve of, that other people wouldn't approve of. I put myself in this situation? How could he forgive me? Because a lot of other people would look at you and say, girl, you did that to yourself, observe what happened to you. You know all of these things and that's not what Christ says right and it's impossible, especially at least for me.

Jennifer:

I, my, my brains really mean a lot of the time and my, you know, will hold that over me and not let me just let it go and I think that that's like another layer and element of the atonement that we just have to trust that, yeah, it's true that he doesn't, that he will remember your sins no more, that that you know the scripture, though your. Your clothes may be red as scarlet you know they'll be white as snow. Yeah, and I think that's hard for us to truly grasp and understand when we when we look at ourselves and are just revolted at what we see in the mirror right, why?

Speaker 3:

would he?

Jennifer:

want to be with that. Why would he want to be okay with what I've done, right?

Speaker 3:

Oh yeah, it's such a it's a hard process, but it's also so liberating. And I remember going when I was going through that life. At that time, the lack of peace that I had was caused so much anguish for me, yeah, and all I could think was I would live on a corner in a cardboard box just to be okay with God again. Yeah, that was how much. And I still feel that way. I would not want to give up my peace. That comes from my relationship of being right with God for anything, for any amount of money, for any person, for anything. I wouldn't ever want to do that Right. And so, after the bishop told me that it took a while for me to feel it and feel forgiven, but it came. And when it came, it was so liberating and just a bag of rocks off of a boulder off of my shoulders, right if it's not too personal, like how were you able to convince your brain and yourself of that?

Jennifer:

like honestly yeah, because I feel like science has proven that if you just keep having these thought patterns, they're so hard to break. And so at what point? Like how do you? How did you do that? How did you eventually believe Christ?

Speaker 3:

Well, reading the book Believing Christ helped me a lot. Oh, there you go.

Jennifer:

Yeah, that book.

Speaker 3:

For anyone who may be struggling with perfectionism I've struggled with perfectionism throughout my life or not forgiving yourself, not believing that you can be forgiving. That book is amazing.

Lily:

Believing Christ. Believing Christ.

Speaker 3:

Believing Christ. I think it's Jeff, something is the author, but it was monumental for me. Okay, that book, lots of prayer, please, heavenly Father. I remember I would kneel, I would stay in prayer on my knees until I could feel the Lord through the adversary Right, wow, right, like, like, right, like I feel like around us, around me at that time there was this thick darkness Right, and I would just pray, that I would. I'd said I would stay on my knees until I feel you through the darkness, like like break through that. Yes, and then I can and I would. I would stay on my knees for like a long time in the dark waiting to feel the Lord and I would, he would break through that. Um, satan did not want to let me go. It was very clear. He, I had literal, like fights with him, like I, I would like not literal, physical, but word fights, right, and I could feel his you could feel it so spiritual yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, because he knows what we can do. Yes, with the Lord on our side, he knows who we are, from the pre-existence Right.

Lily:

Exactly.

Speaker 3:

Not want. He did not want me to be anyway, right. So just lots of prayer and and lots of time in the scriptures and pleading with the.

Speaker 3:

Lord, please help me to feel thee. Please help me to know that I'm forgiven. Yeah, and honestly, it went on through my mission. Even on my mission, I struggled. I didn't feel that I was worthy to be there, even though I knew I had gone through all the steps I needed to and I had repented. I just didn't feel ever good enough, you know, but honestly, I don't even know how or when. One day I just woke up and knew I was a daughter of God. It's kind of a miracle. That's beautiful and thank you.

Speaker 3:

And I started to I don't want to say demand, but expect a certain amount of a certain type of treatment. I don't want to say demand, but expect a certain amount of a certain type of treatment. I began to treat, teach others how to treat me. My brother, brian, would always tell me that you have to teach others how to treat you. You know, and after my mission, I would, you know, stand by the car door. They would come open my door and so, all of a sudden, I had this worth, I had this self-worth about me and, yeah, with the Lord on my side, you couldn't stop me, you couldn't talk, you couldn't treat me badly.

Speaker 3:

You know, right, this is really the amazing part. This is kind of tying up. This last portion ties up the whole thing. So I was on my mission and, again to this point, I still didn't know if I would become a mother one day. Yeah. And again to this point, I still didn't know if I would become a mother one day, yeah. And one night I went to sleep and I had a revelatory dream. Yeah.

Lily:

And in the dream I met my daughter?

Speaker 3:

No way, yes, and I had never had a revelatory dream before. So I was. I woke up falling. I woke up falling and my companion, who's now one of my very best friends right now, this day, she said to me sister, young, why are you crying? And I said, I said where's Jaya? And she goes who's Jaya? Yeah, and I said I just had jaya with me all night, my daughter, we were playing all night, shut up. I promise you, oh my god, make me cry. This is where this is where you really start seeing heavenly father's hand in my life. Okay, like even more, okay, yes.

Speaker 3:

So in my dream, this birth mom handed me a baby who was half Mexican and said here you go. And I said and she was just in a diaper and she had this little Mexican bracelet on. And I said oh, thank you. What is her name? And she goes it's Jaya. And I said well, how do you spell Jaya? And she goes J, e, a, c, h. And I said oh, what's the C for? She goes. I don't know. I don't know what the C is for. So then I, we played all night, yeah, we, we played all night long, and I felt the love of a mother. Wow, I fell in love with her, yeah.

Speaker 3:

And then I still had to wait seven years I understand, jacob, waiting for Rachel. Seven years, are you kidding me? I woke up and and I knew I would have a daughter. I knew the puzzle pieces started coming together for me. Yes, so I okay.

Speaker 3:

I don't know how this is ever going to work out. I don't know how I'm going to get her. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know there will be a daughter and her name will be Jaya and she will be half Mexican. Yep, what a tender mercy, holy cow. Such a tender mercy, wow, yeah, like a light at the end of the tunnel, right, right, because I didn't. Again, I had no idea the way my life would turn out. Exactly, I cannot provide children for anybody, exactly Right. But I can raise them and I can love them, right. So I wrote home and I told my mom and I told my brother, brian, who was like my father figure. We are still very close. He's my soulmate sibling. I call him. I love it, I love all of my siblings. But I wrote home to mom and Brian and they both wrote back and they didn't live together, different states, and they both said the same thing. They said the C stands for Christ. Who will bring her to you?

Lily:

No way.

Speaker 3:

Yes, and the spirit touched me from my head to my toes and it was like that is why the C yes, and the spirit touched me from my head to my toes. Yeah, and it was like. That is that is why the sea Right. So you know, keep going on my mission. I come home. I'm living life. I stayed home with my mom for six months, then I moved back out to Utah in the Orem area, right, and I start fasting and praying for hardcore. Please, heavenly father, please send me my husband.

Speaker 3:

I don't know what he's gonna look like. I don't know how he's gonna love me, right, but somehow he's gonna love me.

Jennifer:

Yeah, and I'm sorry, no, you're great.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, I was working at Jason's Deli down in Oremam, uh-huh this is my favorite part from his story yeah, I had dated. I had dated like one other guy. You know nothing serious. I was like you're definitely not the one you're definitely not.

Jennifer:

You knew what you were looking for and you I knew, I finally knew my worth.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I was not dependent upon anything other than the fact that I am God's daughter, right, and that the Savior died for me, right, right. So I was enough worth for my Savior to do that for me. So that just resonated with me. So I'm working at Jason's Deli and I'm doing like my fasting and my praying and doing all my stuff, and I even did like a brother of Jared experiment and I asked the Lord, like, if I go to every activity and I go to every fireside and I say yes to every date and you know all my, my little personal covenant, will you please send me my husband Right? And so this one day I'm just working and I hear the bell open the door and I turn around and I see this guy walking in, looking all fine.

Jennifer:

Looking all swagger. He said he had a swagger. He said he had a ghetto swagger.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh. And see, growing up in Southern California, I like that, you like yeah, yeah, it was right up your alley, oh my gosh. And I would always say send me someone that got that ghetto swag that loves the Lord and honors his priesthood, and that's my love, I love it. Right. He comes walking in and I did a double take and honestly I know this sounds silly, he looked familiar to me.

Jennifer:

You know what? I've heard that so many times. That's not silly at all, okay, like I know saturday's warrior thing.

Speaker 3:

Some people believe it, some don't. I know that we don't believe in soulmate, but something about him was so familiar to me pre-existence, pre-existence. Right must be not that we had to have gotten married, but goodness, I just, you guys, could have been besties. Yeah, we could have been besties. And so I was immediately attracted to him. Yeah, and he, um, he would keep coming in, you know, keep coming in. And he told you the story. But we fell in love quickly. Right, he swept me off my feet. He, he is my Prince Charming. He loves me. He loves me so unconditionally and it's totally from God, right. So we started dating. You know, we start falling in love. And I told him there's something I have to tell you, and he told me there's something I have to tell you.

Speaker 3:

So he's like I'm an illegal immigrant and I'm like, I'm like, I'm from California, I'm an illegal immigrant and I'm like, I'm like.

Speaker 3:

I'm from California, right, yep, and I said I can't have children, yeah, and I told him about my syndrome and he he really didn't plan on having kids in his life, so he wasn't concerned about that, right. And what's so special about David and my story is that David had that similar experience with his ex right, where he left that for the temple and I left my experience for the temple and I feel like Heavenly Father said here's two people who want, who have righteous desires and want the same things in life Exactly.

Jennifer:

And I'm going to bring them together. Right, you were the ring that fit. Right, you were the ring that fit. I was the ring that fit.

Speaker 3:

You're so sweet, I remember that.

Speaker 3:

You're so sweet, so I mean I could go on and on. But our, our temple, our wedding day was in the Salt Lake temple, which was always the dream of my life and always the dream of my heart, right, and David, you know David's story, like he's shared with you. I just told him, because he was coming back to the, he had come back to the church, but he still didn't know all the things, and I just told him listen, you are not doing this for me, like you already in the church. This is between you and the Lord. I will not drag anyone along.

Speaker 3:

This is between you and the Lord. I will not drag anyone along. This is between you and him, and that's how it was. It was never for me I, it was already happening before me, right and but to see him how he's grown from the man I married to the man he is today, I mean he was already amazing, right, but it's just every day just even more amazing, right. So we fell in love.

Jennifer:

No, go ahead. Oh, it just made me think about how you know when, like you were, meant you brought up. You know it's, it's the individual, right, you have to want that relationship with God and you have to have that drive to do that.

Jennifer:

But how incredible is this whole help meet thing, right yeah, adam and eve like right just imagine how much more he has been able to come and you've been able to come closer to the savior, because you guys are both working together, pushing and pulling, like trying to make it up right back to christ, and I think that that that is you're literally testifying of that that when you have a spouse who truly wants to personally know Christ and you want to work together to personally incorporate him into your marriage and into both of your lives, it's incredible what can happen.

Speaker 3:

Yes, absolutely. I love that and that makes me, that makes that reminds me of um, um, when I kneeled down to pray about David, yeah, um, I, I was almost a little bit chastised, and I say this because he didn't look like what I had imagined, right, or what my family had imagined for me. He had, you know, tattoos and like big old locs on his, like glasses and bandana, and he was my style. He was my style, but he didn't fit the quote, unquote, mold, right, which, honestly, is what I love about the atonement, yeah, is that there is no mold. Yeah, and we are all God's children, no matter what shape form, you know, right.

Speaker 3:

And so I kneeled down to pray about marrying him because I knew it was coming, I knew the question was coming eventually, yeah, and this was the answer I received was number one. You prayed him to you Don't sabotage this, right, this is what you asked for, right. Number two, the Lord asked me in my prayer so, are you done growing right? What? Because I'm like, because, basically, the Lord was telling me he is only just beginning, yeah, and like, are you finished growing, like? Right, interesting, we're all still growing and this is just the beginning, yeah, and so anyway, interesting, it was just really like oh yeah, I thank you, and it was just kind of like a, like a loving rebuke.

Speaker 3:

I am not done with him and I am not done and I am not done with you, Right, Right. And so it was very clear to me hands down. The answer was yes. So he proposed we got married. We had this fairy tale Seriously, like I would live that day over and over until our temple day.

Jennifer:

And you know what you both deserve, that let's just be real, right here.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, oh, it just felt like the beginning of everything I'd ever wanted, and it has been Right. So let's just. I know we have to end soon. So five years in the future, well, two years in the future, we start the adoption process because we had to be married. We both knew Jaya was coming. Right, right, right, we knew all about Jaya, right, she was coming just a matter of time, just a matter of time, so.

Speaker 3:

but we didn't know if she would come on this earth. Maybe it could have been in the, in the, we never know, right. So we had to be married two years before we could put in our adoption paperwork, and so we started, like filling out our profile and getting our home study all set up.

Jennifer:

Right Adoption's a long process.

Speaker 3:

It's a very long process and we went through at that time, the church, the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saint services, the LDS family services, right, and there was no like guarantee, right, there were. There were couples that had been waiting 10 years Exactly, and there were couples that had been matched in three months, three days, yeah. So there was no guarantee. We could have gone through other companies, right, where it's like 40,000 to start and like all these extra charges, but you're guaranteed a baby, right. We just had faith and so we went through, um, the church, the lds family services, by our third year marriage, we were all set up, our profile was on, you know, because that's a long process. Um, we had to do like psychological evaluations and physicals and conferences and I mean it was huge. Just to become a parent was a huge task for us, but we're we don't, we don't even care, we're so happy. So, um, then we waited two full years without any fights, zero emails, zero contacts, nothing.

Jennifer:

So you've been married four years at this point, then um?

Speaker 3:

five, five years, okay, yep, just about five years. And I mean, mother's Day was always hard for me. Yeah, um, seeing babies at church was always difficult for me. I was often teary-eyed, trying to have faith, trying to know that it would come. But honestly, david and I kind of got to the point where we thought we'll just be really good aunt and uncle, we'll just be there for all of our nieces and nephews and maybe Jaya's not coming on this earth. Then one Monday, after my sister's wedding, we got back into work and David had an email. No, david didn't know he had an email because he'd never gotten one before from the adoption agency, so he didn't even know what to look for. But I had an email from our social workers saying, right, congrats on your first email from a birth mom. And I said what you didn't tell me, so I don't have the emails go to your email never again.

Speaker 3:

Yes, I got mad. Yes, you know what I'm saying. I got upset with David because he's always checking his phone but he couldn't check the email the one time, the one time. So, um, I immediately messaged this birth mom back. Her name was Lacey, is Lacey, and she was in Texas. And this is the amazing part, this is the amazing miracle she already was parenting two children. She was a single mom, yeah, um, and she got pregnant by a Mexican boyfriend. She was Caucasian and I still didn't know if it was a girl or boy. We, we start, we were emailing back for her. Like it was April and she was due in June, wow, okay. So we started emailing and we got close quickly, um, she was in her mid-20s, yeah, um, and she said, for some reason, I feel that this baby is not meant for me. Yeah, like, I'm pregnant and I love my children, but the spirit is telling me this baby is not my baby.

Lily:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Not intended for me, right. And so I started looking on, she said. I started looking on the profiles. I started going on to LDS family services and looking at profiles, right. And this one day, um, I was having a hard day and I looked down and then I looked back up and there was your profile. Yeah, she goes. I don't know how you got on my screen, but there were you and David and I just knew, wow.

Speaker 3:

So that's why she contacted us yeah and you know, after like a month and a half maybe a month, month and a half she finally called us right, and that's the night she told us that she had chosen us to, that we were the parents that she knew we were Jaya's. She didn't know Jaya's name yet, but, right. But what's cool is, as we would email, I would ask oh, like, what's the ethnicity? And she'd say, oh, you know Mexican and white. But she still hadn't decided yet. Right, right. And then, little by little, I get a little more brave. Can I ask the gender? Yeah, oh, it's a girl. Oh, my gosh, when David and I read had to have been losing your mind. You have to be losing your mind, david.

Lily:

and I read it's a girl.

Speaker 3:

We both had chills, the holy ghost from the top of our head to the bottom of our toes, and we just knew, yes, we just knew. So when Lacey called us to tell us that we would be the parents, we were so ecstatic so we had like two weeks, good thing yeah, we had already been buying things at yard sales, buying thing off family members, right, right we already had our attic full of.

Speaker 3:

we already those are prepping. Yeah, we were prepping, and so we all we did was pull everything out of the attic, set up her nursery. Yeah, we got plane tickets because Lacey said, um, I I'm going to have her induced so that I can make sure you guys are here. Like the whole process. Bam, bam, bam. We would talk all the time on Skype. She'd show us her belly was getting bigger and and, um, we were able to drive out to Texas.

Speaker 3:

My mom and Brian, my mom and my brother Brian and David and I all drove out to Texas where she lived, and we met and we bonded and I did Lacey's toenails and, you know, massaged her feet and all the you know all the sister things. And to this day we call each other sister, they come visit every year that we send each other birthday presents and Christmas presents and we talk on the phone and we are all just a big family. Yes, which is really really beautiful, you know, and kind of rare, but right, that's kind of that. So Jaya was born and we got to do I got to be in the room when Jaya was born, that's beautiful. I got to hold Lacey's hand, yep, and then David got to come in and we gave her her first bath and her first diaper and then, from then on, I mean we had no question.

Speaker 3:

We were never one of those couples who wondered if the birth mom would sign, right? I mean, she signed. Five days later we got to go home, yes, and then we got to adopt her six months later, got to get sealed in the temple to her, and now she's 12 and she's our everyday miracle, right. And it's so cute because Lacey sat her two little kids down and told, asked them, and she said can we do this for heavenly father? Heavenly father wants us to do this and we're going to bless this family. And yeah, you know, and they didn't know if we were going to keep our word, like her and her parents, like her, right, love her, like we love her whole family, this, there are family, right. But they didn't know if we would keep our word, right.

Jennifer:

There was a lot of trust there, a lot of leaps of faith on both ends. Yeah, on both ends.

Speaker 3:

And we took off from Texas with that baby and they didn't know if they would ever see her again Right, see her again Right. And we've all kept our word and we've all been blessed with this beautiful relationship and some people understand it and respect it and some people don't, and I don't, I don't blame those that don't. It's, it's a hard, it's, it's a big deal Like it's not. You know, it's not something that everyone understands and that's okay. But Jaya has from her day, from day one, has known her special story, is proud of her adoption, yeah, is so loved by David's family, my family, lacey's family, and she truly is.

Speaker 3:

Jaya is the I told her the other day you are the evidence of a loving God. That's what she is. She is evidence that miracles still happen, that God is a still a God of miracles and that he hears our prayers and that, if it's according to his will, he answers them. So it to tie it all together, really, in the end, here's this 13 year old, 14 year old girl who had no idea what her life would be like. Right, right, right Felt like an outcast, felt like a weirdo, um, and in the end, I feel the most blessed of all women.

Speaker 3:

I have a husband who is a worthy priesthood holder, who adores me, I mean, tells me every day I'm beautiful, tells me every day how special I am, is fiercely loyal, wonderful provider, everything more than I could have asked for. My best friend, right, and we have our daughter, your miracle baby, our miracle baby. And I just know, I know with all my heart that if I had not chosen Christ, my life would be in an entirely different place. Actually, I know exactly what where my life would be in an entirely different place. Actually, I know exactly what where my life would be. Yeah, you know, yep, and I would be so regretful and miserable and sad about it because I knew I knew better yeah.

Speaker 3:

I just want to end with my testimony yes, please, that I know that God lives. I know he is our father. He's always been my daddy. That was a big part of my story that my dad abandoned us so I don't right.

Speaker 3:

So heavenly father's always been my daddy and he gives the biggest gifts. He is such a big giver. There is no sin, there is no misdeed that is too far from the grasp of our Savior Jesus Christ. Don't ever believe Satan's lies that tell you it's too late, you can never come back. That is the biggest, fattest, ugliest lie you can ever hear, and he told it to me for years and I'm so thankful. I fought it until I could hear the Savior through it, right Pass through it. That's my testimony.

Jennifer:

And I share that in the name of Jesus Christ Amen. Thank you so much for your time tonight. Give me goosebumps so many times oh gosh, I've, I've loved it, it's been. Your story is incredible, thank you so much for your testimony. And yeah, I'm blown away.

Lily:

Thank, you so much thanks again for tuning in to more thanincidence Remembering Jesus Christ in your Story. Please follow us on social media or share us with a friend. If you have an experience you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhim at gmailcom. I can't wait to hear all of the amazing memories you all have of our Savior. See you next time.