More than Coincidence: Remembering Jesus Christ in Your Story

Developing Charity with Kelly

June 09, 2024 • Lily • Season 1 • Episode 31

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Do you ever feel like developing charity for others is easier said than done? Join us for a heartfelt conversation with Kelly, a devoted mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother whose narrative takes us through the emotional terrain of growing up in difficult family circumstances and the trials of watching those she loves most choose to leave the gospel path. As Kelly embraces the trials of parenting adult children, she emphasizes the significance of unconditional love and maintaining one's own spiritual foundation in order to develop charity for others even when it certainly seems easier said than done. 

To conclude our conversation, Kelly highlights the transformative effects of temple worship and the small, consistent efforts that invite divine guidance into our lives and she shares touching stories of finding solace in the Lord's presence and the lifelong impact of nurturing faith in her family. This episode is an inspiring testament to the strength found in consciously choosing daily discipleship and the comforting embrace of divine love. Tune in and be inspired to reflect on your own faith journey and the extraordinary power of Jesus Christ in your life!

Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

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Lily:

Hello everyone and welcome to. More Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your Story as the author and finisher of our faith, our Savior writes personal experiences into each of our lives which can later strengthen, empower and bring us peace upon reflection. This podcast is dedicated to sharing these anchoring memories from everyone's unique stories in order to collectively remember and testify of the reality of Jesus Christ and his presence in our lives. I'm your host, lily, and I'm very excited to share these experiences together. Welcome everybody. Today we have Kelly. Kelly, how are you doing Good?

Kelly:

thank you, will you introduce yourself a little bit. Okay, my name is Kelly Chapman. I actually grew up in Boulder City, nevada. I was born in California, then we moved to Nevada and I have six siblings. I have three brothers and three sisters.

Kelly:

My mom was married several times. The children are all from the two husbands, but then she had a few more after that. And then I met my husband when I was 17. And I always joke that I got married when I was 17 and a half because that makes a difference. It does make a difference. You know, you're so much more mature when you're 17. And I just I saw him at state conference. He spoke and he said the gospel's like a kiss. You can't enjoy it unless you share it with someone. And I was sitting there going, yeah, can you share that with me? And then he came and introduced himself to our. He spoke at our seminary class because his aunt was my seminary teacher and so he came as a return missionary and spoke in our class and then my aunt's daughter who came, became my cousin.

Kelly:

She said my, my cousin's gonna ask you out, and so she kind of told me ahead of time. So I knew that he came up to me to ask me out and I just kind of made him stumble around with it because I knew what he was trying to do. So anyway, we dated for three months and got married in the.

Lily:

Los.

Kelly:

Angeles temple. And when we were dating, he said to me and I felt the same way we talked about how many kids we wanted. And I said I want as many as Heavenly Father will send, because I always wanted to be a mother. That was all I ever wanted, to be Right. And he said me too. And so that's what we decided. And I remember we had about five kids and he's like that's enough, right.

Lily:

So that's where my husband is right now.

Kelly:

He's like that's enough, right, he's like I go, yeah, but what if we have a feeling, because I would have a feeling that somebody was missing? Yeah, I go. But what if somebody's missing? He goes, okay, yeah yeah so anyway we were. We've been blessed with 13 children, and now we have 45 grandchildren and one great grandchild.

Lily:

That's always a party with you guys, then that's right, that is so much fun. Well then, I'll just ask the question really fast what memories do you have that you reflect on, that prick your heart in remembrance of our Savior Jesus Christ and anchor you to him?

Kelly:

I have so many memories like that. I think it started when I was a little girl.

Kelly:

My mom divorced my dad and we moved to Boulder City, nevada, and her next husband was a member of the church and so she was baptized by him. And I remember going to church when I was three years old and sitting in the Sunday school class looking at the picture of the Savior on the wall and I felt like I was home, cool as a little girl. Yeah, and from that moment on I knew that I had found right where I was supposed to be. Yeah, and even with all the problems my mom had and marriages failing and moving and everything right, um, I would always. I was always the one that would go to church if nobody else would go. I would walk if I had to to church. And so I feel like Heavenly Father knew. I knew Heavenly Father as a little girl and it stayed with me.

Kelly:

And then when I, when the church was brought into my life, I felt like I was up, yeah and so um.

Lily:

Through the years, as I've gone through many different trials and challenges, he's always been there for me yeah, and you can look back on those feelings from when you were young of just like that consistency. He was literally your anchor he was as you were going through all of these crazy transitions with moving and family throughout your life.

Kelly:

And you're like at least I can go to primary every day, yeah, or every Sunday at least I can do these specific things will always be the same, so that's actually kind of cool, yeah that is really cool and I remember when my mom married the second guy, all of a sudden I wasn't calling my real dad dad anymore. He became Jim dad, and then Carol McCall, who was my second dad. He became I was supposed to call him dad, and I'm four, three, four, five years old and I remember feeling a little bit confused and.

Kelly:

I well, I don't think I ever really resolved it until as I an adult, right that that was hard, right. In fact, I went to a type of therapy where she has you release things to a shape and a color.

Kelly:

Oh interesting, it's very interesting and she had me talk to my real dad Because I really, after my mom, divorced him. We never really. We saw him for once a week in the summer, but I don't remember him calling me every week, right, I don't remember him calling me on my birthday. I don't remember him calling us, yeah, on Christmas.

Lily:

I don't remember. There's no involvement.

Kelly:

Yeah, yeah um, and I remember feeling like, looking back on it, like I felt a little abandoned I'm sure as a child right, but then you just go on because you don't, because kids are pretty resilient.

Lily:

I was gonna say kids are really resilient, you just go with the flow.

Kelly:

And I had brothers that I was really close to and we were really, yeah, good about you know, sticking together. Yeah, um, my older brother kind of went off on his own. He was, he was hurt most by it because he was older when they divorced yeah and he ended up going off and doing drugs and having problems, right, right, but me and my two brothers. And then she had three girls after that. Um, we, my two, my two brothers that had the same dad.

Lily:

We were pretty close, yeah, so that helped to have each other and we still understand what was going on.

Kelly:

Yeah, that's cool, yeah and when I look at my family, of the siblings, me and two sisters are active and then the other three aren't and one, my oldest brother, passed away from drug and alcohol. So, um, but my mom, you know she, she struggled but she ended in the end like she died last year at 93. In the end she would say to me how come I couldn't keep a husband?

Lily:

and.

Kelly:

I remember saying mom it's okay, heavenly Father's gonna, you're gonna be okay you know, yeah, she just I don't know, she just had people that weren't totally loyal to her and it was just really hard.

Lily:

Well, and relationships are hard.

Kelly:

Marriage is rough.

Lily:

It is, it's not. It's not for the faint of heart, no, and I can't even. Yeah, and even when you have. I feel like you know they talk about the triangle all the time in a marriage right, Like you and your spouse, and then Christ. I feel like even when you have that, like you still are. So I don't want to say shaky, but it doesn't like make hard things go away.

Kelly:

No no.

Lily:

It makes things still hard, like things are still. Absolutely so.

Kelly:

And you know back in like my dad wasn't faithful to her, yeah, and then the next one wasn't yeah and um, back in that time you didn't go to counseling. I think if she could have gotten counseling because my dad, she told me later, like she told me like 10 years ago your dad didn't want me to leave. You know, leave him. I'm like right, why did you leave?

Lily:

him.

Kelly:

Yeah, she goes well because, well, because I was hurt, you know, she, just I get it, it's not right. But, um, she, in the end, she, she worried a lot about being faithful. So I I told her mom, you're fine, don't, don't worry about it, you're okay. She actually was anchored to the savior because of all her trials, you know.

Lily:

Right, well, you just have to hold on the hole in the next life. Thankfully, Jesus takes care of everything.

Kelly:

That's right, yeah, and I have also seen like trials with my kids. You know, as you know, we're talking about here your daughter's challenge. You know how old is she?

Lily:

She's six, six, yeah, going on 16. Yeah.

Kelly:

I have a granddaughter like that. But I'm looking at my kids now, who are using their agency as adults, and a few of them are not using it in a way that makes me feel happy for them. They're just making choices that don't reflect the way they were raised, and so all I can do and we've talked about this in our Relief Society many times all I can do is love've talked about this in our release society many times right, all I can do is love them right and let them know that, like my one daughter that um just told me that she decided not to go to church anymore, I just told her that I love her and I honor her agency right, because that's all I can do for her, and I just pray that and it's really. And then somebody else I was talking to said oh my, my best friend in California, we raised our kids together.

Kelly:

Oh, that's cool and we were talking about it because she's got the same thing I have going on. Yeah, she says president, I, irene, said that you can't focus on them and what they're doing, that you're looking at the wrong thing.

Lily:

You got to be looking at what you're doing right to get yourself where you need to be and everything else is right, gonna be okay just like what she said, easier said than done, like when he, oh my gosh, when iring shared that one talk this past, when they, when they were, in idaho and there was the crazy flood and his wife was up all night.

Lily:

He's like don't worry, everything's gonna be okay with the temple. I was like what do you mean everything? Like I could totally feel his wife's panic. She's like how can you sleep? So I feel like it's. I love how we, we, we tell ourselves it's going to be okay, but it is literally still the constant reminder of having to tell yourself Right, but when you watch them doing what they're doing? You of having to tell yourself.

Kelly:

But when you watch them doing what they're doing or making choices that you know aren't going to bring them joy or are going to affect my grandchildren, it's hard, but also I can't dwell on it because that's not going to be productive, right? So, I turned to the Savior. I let him know hey, these were yours before they were mine. So, Heavenly Father, and through the Savior, it's a plan of salvation and I feel like we'll be surprised how he works the plan of salvation in their lives.

Lily:

I agree, I agree. Well, and I think I've noticed in my life that when I because I do have I do have a lot of friends too who've also left the church and stuff, but we're still really good friends- and.

Lily:

I think that when we choose to stay rooted and anchored to the savior, we still carry his light, hopefully, so that when other people do need something or want something like we can have that inspiration to help them to be that ministering angel and you never know what's going to happen. Right, you really don't need something or want something like we can have that inspiration to help them to be that ministering angel and you never know what's going to happen. Right, you really?

Kelly:

don't yeah, and I've had a lot of experiences with like. I had a best, a really good friend. She taught me violin for eight years I took violin when my son was taking violin, because I wanted to know how hard it was.

Kelly:

Then I found out it was hard Because when you you play the piano, the notes are in tune when you play the violin, if your fingers are in the right place. But anyway, this great friend of mine, she, for eight years she taught me violin and then one day she sends me this text and says Kelly, you've got to watch this, this video. The church, the church, has sugar-coated church history. For us it's not what we thought, right, you gotta and I. And I thought to myself what is she talking about?

Kelly:

so I opened it up, I started to watch it and it was a guy that's saying I'm a member of the church, I used to do this and this, so he was like a wolf in sheep's clothing, as the way I look at it. Right, and I started to watch it and I felt very uncomfortable and I thought I don't need to watch this and I said Kathy, don't watch this turn it off right.

Kelly:

Read this talk, read the this conference talk. Go to the book of Mormon. Do go to the sources that will bring you joy and peace and right comfort and those things that we don't understand. Set it aside, put it. Put it in a place where you can. It's there, but you're not going to lose what you do know like.

Kelly:

Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith right right and she said no, 35 years, I've done this, I'm done, you know right well. So she took off her garments, quit going to church and she had a 12 year old son and he, the first Sunday, when she said we're going out to eat, he goes.

Kelly:

Mom, we don't go out to eat on Sunday and she goes oh, it's okay, now you know just stuff like that yeah so I just I have had experience, like you, with people that you love and I just decided I love her, she's my friend. So I had moved away and I came back to visit and I came to her door and. I actually did block her on Facebook because when I would write things about oh, I'm so excited about conference, she'd say we don't need profits today and stuff.

Kelly:

So I blocked her and so I came to her door and she goes Kelly, I never thought you'd talk to me again. I go, why You're my friend. She goes. Well, you blocked me on Facebook. I go. Well, kathy, facebook isn't real life, okay.

Lily:

Yeah, I still love you. I have a phone.

Kelly:

She goes. Well, I probably deserved it. I go, yeah, you did.

Lily:

And that's nice, that you could be friends and candid about that.

Kelly:

Yeah, so anyway. So I'm still friends with her and I don't feel bad because she's not.

Lily:

so One thought that I was just thinking of, too, as you were talking, is when I've had stuff like that, cause I, I, I have a lot of the friends who have. It's the church history stuff. And you know I'm going to be straight up and honest. Polygamy makes me so uncomfortable.

Lily:

And that's something that I personally can't even look at, think about, because I just get. I don't get sad, I get angry, yeah Well, cause we don't understand it Right. And so for me, that's something that I've had to really just sit like, exactly like you say, I've had to just put it not in a box, but, I like how you say, on a shelf, where you can still. You can still see it, you don't? You shouldn't completely get rid of your concerns because they are valid concerns and you should seek to try and find those answers.

Lily:

But I think when we allow these things that are so rooted in mortality, that are so rooted in things that we just don't know people didn't always keep the best journal entries. People always tell things from their perspective.

Lily:

People always people, because we are mortal. People get slighted, even the best people, can you know. And and I think that when we really the best people can you know, and and I think that when we really truly focus on, okay, what is the gospel of jesus christ, what is our savior jesus christ, the plan of salvation, and we see those things for what they are and we allow ourselves to root and anchor ourselves in those, it doesn't mean that we still don't have questions and obviously, again, I feel like the overarching theme is it's easier said than done for sure, but I feel like when you are anchored and rooted in those, it's like okay.

Lily:

I don't understand why it seems so unfair to women in this but, I, do know that God loves all his children, and I do know that this is what he has specifically given to women you know and I think, when you focus on those things and you kind of have to give up your pride a little bit too, of having to know everything, I'm a person that has to know how things work, why things work and all of that.

Lily:

And if I don't have a plan then I get freaked out and so not knowing things is really scary and I've had to just say literally Jesus, take the wheel.

Kelly:

Like I take the wheel.

Lily:

I prioritize my relationship over you and my covenants with you, over this very temporal, very mortal thing that is so clouded in uncertainty from a mortal lens that I can't comfortably make a decision, and my relationship with you is so much more important than that which, again, it's easier said than done and that's just how I have to see it, but I know we all have to kind of work through our own things, so that's why I think we need to have grace with our friends, with our family members of, because sorting this out is messy and

Lily:

it's vulnerable and it's very, very emotionally charged. And I think, like you have said too, that when we just say that we're going to love them, when you counter negativity with positivity, then it allows the spirit and allows the light to be here so that even if they are having these problems, they know okay, well, maybe there is at least one safe place that I can go to. If they can't don't feel comfortable going to the savior or going to anybody else, at least maybe you, through showing that love and affection can give them that peace yeah for sure.

Lily:

That was kind of long sorry.

Kelly:

I love that, though I love that you're so. I think that the most important thing that I learned from there's a friend of mine that gave a talk in women's conference. She just gave a talk about, you know, when our children wander, people that you love wander, and one thing that she said in the talk that really struck me was that it was no surprise to heavenly father when they wandered, when they made these choices, that he knew it would happen. He knows the end from the beginning and he wasn't caught off guard and he hasn't, and we have to trust in that. And, like you said, it's easier said than done, but God does have them.

Kelly:

He knows them better than they know themselves yeah and things are going to happen in their lives and they're going to remember that. Because what is we're we're told, if we will train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. That doesn't mean that he won't wander a little bit, right, but I feel like, and and ultimately, it's their agency that's in play, right, right, so not everyone's going to choose the highest degree of glory, celestial kingdom, and to live the life that is required to be there, right, but that doesn't mean that they won't be in a kingdom of glory, yeah, and be happy and be happy.

Lily:

Yeah.

Kelly:

And ultimately it's their choice. We would never want to force them right to our way of thinking, because that's not god's way right and so it really is easy to love them. It takes the burden off me to try and save them. Yes, heavenly father and jesus christ, their plan saves them.

Lily:

Yeah, my plan was to get them a body I did that part and then kept them alive until adulthood and then to to love them.

Kelly:

And I know my kids I've said this before my kids would be ticked off if I quit going to church. The ones that maybe aren't even. Yeah, they would be mad like no mom. You, what? What are you doing? This is your thing. Or you know, I work at the temple. Oh, I'm quitting my job because I don't believe anymore or whatever. I couldn't, of course, I could never do that, because that's not who I am right. I always thought one day, maybe I should just not go to church and see what happens.

Lily:

You know yeah, I could never do it. Yeah, it's not very similar. Literally this past Sunday I was like I don't want to. I'm so angry and grumpy today and I was like, oh fine, I guess I'll go yeah but I feel like you just drag yourself there and even if you're just there, it's better than not yeah, even though I just wanted to wander the hallways rather than be in Relief Society. Sorry it's, it's okay, I tried Some days are better than others, right yeah? And it's okay, you were there, I tried.

Kelly:

Yeah, and I remember when I was, you know, I would go to church. Nine kids on the pew, I'm like you know what that's like. Yeah I. Why did I come? I didn't get anything out of anything but I remember being out in the foyer and a sweet sister came to me and she says Kelly, I just want you to know you're planting seeds.

Kelly:

You know you might not want to be here and it's nap time and you wish you could just take them home and put them in their bed, but you're teaching them that this is where you are supposed to be, and I really loved that because it gave me confidence that, even though I'm not getting anything out of it, I'm doing the right thing for them if nothing else and I like how they say it's the planting, the seed, because then it goes back to the agency Once you help them, you know, nourish it and grow it, and then they can decide OK, here's your plant. Yeah, what do you want to do?

Lily:

with your little plant. That's right, I did my part, yeah.

Kelly:

And not that your part is ever over. I will always be there for them Correct, you know and Heavenly Father wouldn't put us here and think that we could do it, if I mean he wouldn't put us here and give us this opportunity if he didn't think we could do it Right. And we're not perfect and we make mistakes, Right? Sometimes I don't think the right things or say the right things, but my heart is in the right place and I think that's all we can do for ourselves.

Lily:

Right, well, and that's the thing that I love about the temple. So, another confession I hate doing sessions because I always fall asleep. I really try not to but I really do and honestly, this past week was really awful, really crazy, but I had the feeling I needed to go to the temple and do a session and usually it's. I go and do initiatory because I love initiatory, because not only what they say is cool, but you get to walk around.

Kelly:

So I feel like it keeps me awake.

Lily:

It's easier that way. But yeah, I had a really strong feeling. I actually had to go do a session and it really did strike me with each covenant that we made and what that implies and truly the broken heart and a contrite spirit and really literally just giving your all and all of these things. I sat there and I was kind of blown away and I was like, oh, maybe we can do this.

Lily:

Like like maybe we can make it and it. I don't know, it was just a comfort for me. And like going back to my, my daughter, I had cause. I was praying, please, god.

Lily:

Like I need to know how to help her and and my answer really was like Lily, you need to just teach her, show her the good and the bad. And agency Like that's literally, was my answer Like you're just your job is supposed to love her, point her to the savior, show her what is right and wrong, and then help guide her when it comes to her agency. And just sometimes you have to let her make decisions and there will be consequences to those decisions, but as long as you are always redirecting them and your children or your friends or whoever back to the savior, yeah, then I think that that is where you know.

Kelly:

that's where it needs well, and if you're directing them back to the savior. Ultimately, your prayer is that when things go down and they will, because we all have those- times that they'll remember. My mom taught me that when I'm feeling like this, I need to say a prayer, or I need to open my scriptures, or I need to go to the temple. I think that you're setting an example when you do that. You know right and.

Kelly:

I. I made a goal when I lived in California. Um, one of the temple presidents of the San Diego temple came to a wedding reception that we had in our backyard and he talked about you know, what you have to do is you have to decide when you're going to go to the temple on a regular basis and do it. And so, as I stood there, the spirit told me you need to do that because I had so many kids. There was always yeah.

Kelly:

So, I made a goal to go to the five 30 session at the San Diego temple every Tuesday morning and I did it for eight years until we moved up here yeah and it changed me yeah.

Kelly:

I. I connected to the Savior and Heavenly Father and my covenants in a way that I hadn't before, because I was consistent, right and I've done that. I've gone, I've done an ordinance every week, almost every week, since then. When I moved back up here, I did the the same thing. I just kept it going. And when I got my job at the temple, I work at the Jordan River.

Kelly:

Temple. The question they asked me when they were hiring me is so if you're going to work at the temple Tuesday through Saturday, eight hours a day, what about your own temple worship? And I thought that was a wonderful question to ask, and so I made a commitment to every week do an ordinance. Yeah, sometimes two, but for sure one, Whether it's sealings, initiatory endowment I haven't done baptisms.

Lily:

Baptisms are a little tricky sometimes.

Kelly:

Yeah, I have my kids do those yeah.

Lily:

My grandkids.

Kelly:

But I feel like it's made a difference and it's helped me in my work, because I know that and I also served as an ordinance worker for about five years and so and I've seen that side of it, and then now I'm working in the office, right, but then my personal worship. And I just have a testimony of the temple that it is the house of the Lord and that's the only place on earth where you can feel well, besides our chapels and our homes, Right when you can feel peace and get answers.

Lily:

Yeah, and I'm really glad that you bring that up, Cause I for a really long time like I liked the temple, but I feel like everyone was always saying, oh, I love the temple so much. It's so amazing. I get all this revelation when I go there and and for me that just wasn't me Like I would go and I would either fall asleep or I would just not feel anything. I feel like I tend to get my revelation doing the dishes or going on a hike.

Lily:

But I feel like, because there has been such an emphasis on going to the temple and remembering your covenants and really getting in tune with the spirit, I have really been trying to go a little bit more and it's been like once a month.

Kelly:

Yeah, that's okay, but your season is once a month. I was once a month. Yeah, that's okay, but it's something your season is once a month.

Lily:

I was once a month, forever, right. And I feel like, as I have been consciously doing that, I have not necessarily noticed like oh my gosh, all this revelation pouring in, and oh my gosh every time I go. It's such a good experience, but I do feel just so much, I just feel it's kind of weird, it's like grounded, like my soul just feels more stable and less kind of like oh, this is happening, oh, that's how. And I still feel anxious and I still feel worried. But I feel it's like this weird feeling just inside me. I feel Like it's going to be okay and I've told myself, you know, this summer, now that my kids are all home from school, I want to try and take them and we're just going to walk around the temple once a week.

Lily:

And I think that you can count that as a mom.

Lily:

And you really, and even just as a parent, as a person like I think, as long as it literally says in the initiatory and literally says in the endowment that if you are just trying to do these things as best you can, then you're good, that's right Literally. And I'm a person where I don't believe in participation awards, so sometimes this kind of makes me a little like irked. I'm like what do you mean? Everybody's going to get the same stuff, even though we're all. But then I sit and I'm like okay, wait, that's my pride. And but, lily, you need that, like that's literally you, you need that grace you need, you need that participation award, that gold star, lily, because mortality is is hard.

Kelly:

I think what you said is true. I, I, you are not alone in when, every time you go to the temple, you don't always have revelation, right? Not, I don't think everyone does. I think most people's experience is just like yours.

Kelly:

But when times are hard and yeah, and you do have something that you're going to go to the temple to ponder and to work on, like your daughter that you're worried about, right those are the times when I do feel like the revelation comes and you did receive that right because you came seeking that right, and I just think it's based on our personal humility and preparation right what we get out of it, and sometimes it will be. I fall asleep too, especially when I do the. Tuesday morning 5 30 session. But Heavenly Father knows what we need and he knows what, yeah, and he knows that you aren't always going to have that and he's so glad you're there, even if nothing happens.

Lily:

And you go away after a good nap, you know.

Kelly:

He still was so grateful. You went and you come out armed with power and, like you said, you get revelation and doing dishes or on a hike. But you wouldn't have as much of that if you didn't go to the temple, because you're armed with power when you go to the temple Right, and those times in the temple prepare you for the times when you're praying for help outside the temple Agreed.

Lily:

Yeah, that's oh, and I think kind of tying it even just back into the theme of of the podcast it's you know, as we are doing these things, every little experience that we have is a tiny little thread that binds you to Christ and anchors you to him. So, whether that's you know you being little and just looking at the picture of Christ and being like, oh, that's familiar, or I don't know the birth of your child, or just like a beautiful sunset, like all of these things where the spirit really does whisper to you and touches your heart.

Lily:

those things testify of a creator those things testify of god and I think, when we consciously are remembering those and reflecting back on those and trying to trying to take the advice of, of our you know, of our leaders and saying you know what they're saying we need to go to the temple more. I'm going to try and go to the temple more, whatever that looks like, right, right, or just inviting the lord into my life consciously, whatever that looks like. I think that's a w, I think that's a win and I think that you when you do that.

Kelly:

He wants to be there and you're slowly tethering yourself to him right, yeah, does it remind you of that?

Kelly:

talk at conference about um pillars and and rays and rays yes I think that we need to remember the experiences we have that are there are rays because, you know right, those consistently happen in our life and as we acknowledge the Lord's hand in our life, we're going to be able to bind ourselves even more to him, because we know, hey, he's got my back Right, exactly yeah. And like my husband passed away five years ago, it'll be June 18th, it'll be five years. And then my son passed away three years ago, august 23rd, right. And when I think about those two trials, at the time when you're going through it, you don't believe it's going to happen Like when my husband was dying, I, I was pretty much in denial.

Kelly:

I went to work the day that he died. Oh yeah, and I, and, and then my sons called me and said, hey, mom, you need to come home Cause yeah, he's not, he's not doing good. But why did I go to work? I could have stayed home. I knew he wasn't doing well, but I think I just was in denial. And then my son he kept being so optimistic about his cancer and that it was going to get better.

Kelly:

And he said I'm going to write a book after this about my experience. And I remember sitting by him when I went to visit him, probably six weeks before he passed and he goes. It's weird to read what people say about you on Facebook before you've died, because his wife had posted he's not gonna make it yeah and so people are writing things about him and he's reading them and and I'm like oh my gosh, that would be.

Kelly:

That would be really weird yeah, he just that's what he said to me. He goes mom, this is so weird, you know, but I saw Heavenly Father's hand in both of those situations and. I knew that it was their time, right and and as hard as it is to let them go you know that they're okay and that you're going to see them again.

Kelly:

And that's the greatest piece that I have is that. And I'll talk to Gary. Sometimes I'm like why, why did you go first? I wanted to be the one to go first and our things will happen. And I'll just talk to him when I'm driving, or I'll you know, I'll pray to heavenly father, tell him I love him, let him know that I you know he's listening, yeah father tell him I love him.

Kelly:

Let him know that I you know, you know he's listening. Yeah, so I. I have been so blessed in so many respects since he died um. Like this house that I'm living in. You know the rent is affordable for me and I.

Kelly:

I got that job nine months before he died, yeah, and I have, am able to provide for myself right in a place where I feel peace all the time, yeah, well, not all the time, but most of the time, yeah, sometimes we have angry patrons, but I do have a testimony of that, that these things that happen in our lives, these trials, these hard times that we go through, right, we're never alone and and the lord will provide what we need.

Lily:

He's taken such good care of me and now I have I have the 13 children I was going to say you have an army behind you.

Kelly:

Yes, and 45 grandchildren and one great grandchild, so I am never alone. But I have a testimony that we're okay if we put our trust in him.

Lily:

Right. Well, are there any other final thoughts or memories that you would like to share, or would you like to just bear us a quick?

Kelly:

I wanted to end with elder gong's talk um, I remember the name of it the last talk he gave, but the last. At the end of his talk, this is what he said and I think it's it very powerful and it goes with your theme of your podcast. In time and eternity, the purpose of creation and the nature of God himself are to bring all things together for our good. This is the Lord's eternal purpose, it is his eternal perspective, it is his eternal promise. Is his eternal promise when life is cluttered and purpose isn't clear, when you want to live better but don't know how? Please come to God, our Father. In Jesus Christ, trust they live, love you and want all things for your good. I testify they do infinitely and eternally in the sacred name of and holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Lily:

Amen, that's Wow. I feel like that wraps everything up pretty good.

Kelly:

That's powerful, huh? Yeah yeah, because our lives are, like you said, they're messy, and so when we feel that confusion or clutter and things aren't clear, come unto the Savior and Heavenly Father and they want all things for our good.

Lily:

They'll, they'll make it all work together for our good, right, or even if you're blowing around in the storm, it's better to be like holding on to something while you're like flapping in the wind, just like free floating, and it sometimes feels like that doesn't it yeah yes, I know, but in the end peace comes, yeah, and especially when we're living our lives according to the will of God, right I?

Kelly:

think it's harder to feel peace when we're being contrary to that Right.

Lily:

Awesome. Well, Kelly, I really appreciate you chatting with me tonight. Thank you so much for spending this time and yeah, thanks again for tuning in to More Than Coincidence, remembering Jesus Christ in your Story. Please follow us on social media or share us with a friend. If you have an experience you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhim at gmailcom. I can't wait to hear all of the amazing memories you all have of our Savior. See you next time.